What would you do?

Passion flower

A dilemma cropped up and the best answer has so far eluded me. Oh, sorry, I have been so busy that I forgot to fill you in on whats been happening behind the scenes on my laptop!

First, I felt inspired again to write more, but differently this time, with even more passion, hence the flower picture 😉 I like to write about things that bug my mind a lot, important more educational and informational stuff that may also be of help to some others looking for answers to their issues.

Because I felt it was too far off from what this blog is about, my personal experiences with gratitude and everyday ‘magic’, I decided to open my options and start a second blog with possible room to expand. The idea was to create options to get some rewards for all the time l spend looking and researching to get this stuff out for everyone to benefit. Maybe sell a course or link to other sites that might give me some affiliate rewards. Maybe it will never happen, but I want to try as my usual part time casual job is sending me into poverty at the moment and my life is too busy with other priorities, like going overseas again shortly to look after my mum, to be adding another job now.

After a lot of research into Internet marketing style info, it was clear that I needed a ‘list’. After learning a lot more more about different ‘list’ companies, I set up and email list subscription with Aweber and had to pay annually for that.

Next I found out that WordPress.com does not cater for Aweber plugins, so the already set up ‘.com blog’ was useless now. I had to jump over to WordPress.org to create this so called sales funnel. OK…..sigh…
Now before I could do that I had to get a domain name, which was not included in the deal with ‘.org’! After some more study I decided on Bluehost which was recommended by several experts on line, which also costs me an annual fee…

Hang on guys! I am not selling anything here yet! What happened to building a reputation and following first? http://happypollyesther.org

So I dropped my Aweber subscription after a year not signing up a single soul, nor working on my project much besides slowly getting more inspiration. I like being prepared mentally and physically 😉

Now that I have 4 Posts up I am getting second thoughts about my choice of going with WordPress.org and paying my ongoing Bluehost fees…

I cannot get a profile picture up despite already having it linked to my WordPress.com and ‘About Me’ profile. To get my statistics, I had to sign up for ‘Jetpack’, which thankfully did allow me a free trial for now… I cannot work out how to get widgets on the blog or a ‘follow’ button and feel like a total blog noob again.

Why can I not just add a link to the end of each post referring to my Paypal account instead of a button for donations and go back to my originally set up new WordPress.com page?

But then I will lose my perfect domain name for ‘.org’ in case l need it when things do take off…

What would you do? Stay and pay or lose the domain and go back to the comfort of WordPress.com? Perhaps you have some other clever suggestions that could help?

I would really appreciate your thoughts on this!

With Gratitude,


Go with the flow


Last week on a warm Summer’s eve, after a long hard day’s work, l was walking back from the Chinese takeaway shop with my dog and food. I like doing this to save time and fuel and have a night off cooking. Walking along in my usual thoughts, l spotted a mobile phone on the nature strip not far from my home. I felt that I could not leave it there to be found by a less honest individual, so took it home to make sure it would find its owner back safely. Surely the owner would live nearby from where l found it, as l concluded it must have fallen out of a pocket while waiting to cross the street.

Priorities first though, as I did not want to eat a cold meal, so went home and ate dinner, while charging the almost flat phone with hubbies charger of the same brand.
After dinner l tried to find some clues on how to get in touch with the owner and found the phone thankfully was not locked. The photo of two young children having fun on the screen showed me it had to be a mum, which was confirmed some more by spotting a pregnancy app. Next I found a few clues in the contact list of family members, which I proceeded to try and call… to no avail… I took great care not to look at any more personal stuff than the contact list as I did not want to be rude and intrude.

Perhaps she was with a different provider with no reception in my home? We do live in a known black spot…Even though I was exhausted, I decided to walk up the street, up the hill to find better reception. Still, no calls made it through to alert the family to the fact I had located the phone and tried to find who it belonged to.

My thoughts turned to a little concern that now I had to resort to handing it in at the nearest police station for them to find the owner….which was a bit of a drive as there is no public access to the one in our town….I did not really want to go through that much trouble…Still stayed slightly hopeful of finding a way to save myself the drive as I was exhausted, and had to work the next day.

At the same time there was the mum, desperate to find her phone back, sending thoughts out herself…

Slowly I walked back down the hill, phone in hand looking at the screen every time it bleeped telling me another email came in.

You can imagine my surprise when l walked past a house and overheard a lady through a closed fly wire door yelling at the kids that she had to find her phone first! What are the odds of this happening right at the moment of me walking past within earshot, after taking my time and having dinner first?

Immediately I yelled back that I was trying to locate an owner of a lost phone. A lady came out, highly pregnant… it had to be hers, I decided and yes, indeed, she was very pleased to get it back, explaining that she was a little concerned about not having had it locked and no credit left… Of course I reassured her quickly that I had been discreet and suggested maybe to have some credit on it next time, enough for a call?

Another example of thoughts and circumstances working to a serendipiteous meeting?… Based on my previous experiences with this ‘go with the flow’, I am convinced it was, feel glad, and welcome your comments 😉

Happy Thanks Giving!

butterfly in my garden

My heartbeat, breath, pulsing inside.
The dog, laying by my side.
Butterflies fluttering about.
Feeling at peace inside and out.
Nature beaming with life.
A world free of strive.

In perfect harmony the earth,
humming a symphony of worth.
Gracefully dancing with the stars so bright,
even in darkness shines the Light.
Southern Spring heatwave on a continent,
balancing Autumn chills north imminent.

Gratitude in focus today.
Loving life’s full array.
Planting seeds or harvesting needs,
especially other’s gentle deeds.
Not just today we should,
instead the whole year we could!

With Love and gratitude,

Did I scrape in or not?


That’s it everyone! The poetry contest, opened in October is now closed. However, it is not “done” quite yet Frodo, I still need to announce the winners! I will be tallying up the points all night from such wonderful submissions. I truly have a difficult choice before me. Thank you to everyone who submitted a […]

via Poetry Contest CLOSED — KaylaAnn

I spotted this poetry contest and decided to enter as it was still open and going when l found it. Within minutes I turned my computer on, followed this blog as per prerequisite and went to my own site to copy the link to my poetry piece I wanted to enter, one I had blogged earlier:


Upon returning to the comments, it was closed, but stubborn me tried anyway and left the link. I hope it will be considered…

Even if not, I still wish all that managed to enter in time the best of luck!

I am glad I had one I prepared earlier, haha!


With Gratitude,

Pollyesther xxx

I’m getting old…or am I?

Feeling good

It was my fiftieth birthday in November, shhh… and no, I did not have a big party to celebrate the half century milestone. I simply could not be bothered with all the extra work involved in getting the house ready for visitors, shopping to get the expected snacks and the cleaning again after. I decided to treat myself and have a quiet one instead. After all it is just a number, right?

Many years ago I observed older people and decided to never grow old, but only grow up without losing my inner child. It did not appeal or make sense to me becoming set in my ways, lose all playfulness and not being able to relate to younger generations. I have worked on and prepared for that ever since, learning how to stay healthy naturally, keep fit, flexible and focus on what makes me happy rather than what is expected of my age. I’d rather be a silly old cow having a ball than a stuck up grumpy one, bothered by mental and physical restrictions!

It does help to know what I have learned so far, that no matter what life throws your way you always have a choice in how to respond and deal with it. It helps to know that there will always be someone that does not agree with you no matter what you try, so why keep trying to conform to their ideas? It also helps to know that there is an Infinite Source available to everyone of us that provides all the answers, if we know how to ask and listen to it. This same Source also helps us continuously, turning our dreams into inspired action and reality. Another secret to growing old gracefully, I think is to never stop learning and pushing your boundaries as well as appreciating the good things in our lives, no matter how small they may seem.

Over the past Winter I started having some so called ‘old age related symptoms’ that were bugging me a little. I immediately identified it as Arthritis, for my mother also suffers from it. I decided to not focus on it and hoped it would ease when returning home to the warmer weather again, just like last year when another finger got affected over Winter by the cold, or so I thought.

This one was more red, swollen and painful though, to the point where l could not bend it or put pressure on the knuckle at all without pain which developed stronger towards the end of Winter. The knuckle bones also got much bigger and felt like they were grinding against each other whenever I tried using it. Being a right handed person, I was glad it was only the index finger on my left hand!

It did not ease when the weather warmed…This is where I started to feel a bit more concerned and bothered by it. After all, I am aiming to get the free season ski lift pass when I turn 70 and become a ski bum when I get my retirement! What is my body going to be like then? What am l doing wrong? Something needed to be done and I knew from experience and self education that conventional methods merely ease the symptoms and do not cure.

It is generally accepted that so called ‘old age’ problems are chronic and cannot get cured! Are they,… really???

I refuse to accept that as a fact and am determined to prove that statement wrong! Not a small task, I know… However, after having overcome other so called ‘incurable’ problems like eczema and hay fever, enabling me to ditch all medications over the past 15 years, adhering to the guidance received, I am now much more open to possibilities rather than restrictions and settling for accepted norms. Especially when these myths are told by a medical system focused on keeping shareholders happy and patients dependent on chemicals, that may relieve the symptoms, but also come with nasty side effects, the rebel inside me arcs up again.

Don’t get me wrong, I still go and see a doctor when in need of a check up, diagnostics, serious illness or if my body would suffer damage that needs patching up.
Where in my opinion the medical system lacks, and falls terribly short is the complex problems where the cause is located in a whole different part of the body to where the symptoms appear. Skin specialists do not learn much about digestive problems as that is another department altogether in a normal hospital.

Thankfully the answers were found not long after in the shape of a video interview/transcript that landed in my emails:


After watching/reading it all became clear, why as a kid l never really liked bread and would only eat a sandwich if it had chocolate sprinkles on it. It now made sense that as a toddler I spat out the porridge mum tried feeding me and why whole meal bread made my saliva disappear and turned into a lump of clay in my mouth, impossible to swallow without flushing it down with a cup of tea…It also makes sense now that I always craved yoghurt, the pro-biotics of which soothed my digestive system again after eating wheat. Why would you consider that something that is meant to be essential to good health may not be so?

Thinking back at my diet over the past Winter, I realised that my wheat intake had increased dramatically with eating lots more pasta meals, pizza and bread on top of multiple muesli bars to have a ‘healthy’ snack when hungry in between. Perhaps it was also the reason for my obviously compromised immune system that gave me another unexpected virus that knocked me out of action for a week, despite my freshly squeezed lemon/orange juices every morning, banana for morning tea and an apple and mandarin with lunch.

Needless to say I decided to try a wheat free diet just to test if this was a solution for my problem.

Within two weeks my lingering shoulder injury vanished and I could feel more ease in trying to move my finger. The pain eased a little too.

Now five months later l am almost able to straighten my finger and it seems a lot less swollen, although the bones of the knuckle are still enlarged . I have done a bit of stretching and massaging it with different natural substances such as Coconut Oil infused with Frankincense and liquid Magnesium. There is hardly any pain now and l am able to use that finger again to pick up small items and do up buttons.

Another fact l noticed over the past five months is that my back and neck feel smoother and do not need as much straightening every day with stretching and rolling around, as l find so helpful normally.
It simply does not click in and out of place as much.

The fact that after sinning this past weekend with Potato Wedges (dusted with flower for that crispy taste) for lunch on Saturday and some wheat flower in the white sauce on the Cauliflower last night l woke up with more pain proves to me that indeed, cutting out gluten was a good move on my behalf. Curious how my immune system holds up coming Winter…but so far so good, feeling great! l did not catch a cold from some affected friends that l spend time with in enclosed areas during the last few months, which is a great start.

I am so glad I listened to my feelings and picked up the hints pointing to the answers in the video as well as the book that was recommended twice to me in two days.
It’s a good one for everyone suffering any inflammatory issues with a relatively easy to understand explanation of how it all works in our body, backed up by scientific research and recipes to get started. Dr. David Perlmutter’s ‘Grain Brain’ has changed my world for the better so far. I hope it may give you too some insights. Please share your thoughts!



“I can’t find the keys anywhere, how is that possible?” Mum asks me several times a day. Another one is: “Have you closed your window?”, every time we leave the house. The keys are quickly found in the usual spots she puts them down automatically without thinking or registering. The room I am in does not have an opening window at all, but I assure her every time that the window is shut.

Three years ago was the last time I flew to the Netherlands to visit mum, family and friends. It was a busy, fun time with several parties and a primary school reunion, creating many happy memories. At the time she also had her 83rd. birthday. She was a little annoyed that she was struggling to remember all the names of the plants and flowers in her garden, but I guess when you get to that age, you should be happy to still be physically fit enough to be able to enjoy working in your own garden.

Late last year my cousin, who keeps a close eye on mum for me when I am in Australia, which is now home for me, emailed me concerned that I should be thinking about another visit soon, because mum was confusing her, me and her daughters names badly when they looked at some old photos. “If you leave it much longer there may be a chance she will not remember who you are!”, she said…

So here I am, visiting again, making sure not to miss her 86th birthday and making the most of what time we have left together before she loses her memories altogether. My cousin and I are busy talking to her doctor and care staff and making arrangements for her future behind her back. It feels wrong, but what choice do we have? She is convinced that she is fine and does not need any help yet. I guess in some ways I do agree with her, as she is still very alert and swift to respond to the traffic when driving her car on familiar roads. She is still capable of putting in a fair effort maintaining her small and well manicured garden and we both enjoy looking at the birds she feeds every day and squirrels that like to steel some of the birds’ crumbs when no one is looking…

But…at the same time she keeps losing things around the house, convinced that the care staff is stealing from her all the time. She only trusts a very small number of familiar people she knows well, thankfully including me. Others she treats with suspicion, fear and mostly verbal aggression, occasionally raising her fist to emphesize she is serious. The memory lapses come and go with me thinking she is indeed fine at times, but then at night when tired she looks at me and tells me she finds it strange to think that she has a daughter at all… Physically she is doing very well for her age, mentally it is becoming a real concern. She functions ok when she is able to stick to her routines that have become almost compulsive. When it is disturbed she gets very upset and stressed.

There is a lot she does not understand, like why she has trouble with her tummy when she stresses, as she does not remember she has been suffering from Crohn’s disease since before I was born, probably set off by a stressful period in her life not long after she got married due to circumstances out of her control. She also has had other inflammatory issues ever since.

While making my plans and arrangements for my journey to see her I asked an internal question and the answer came in the form of a book called ‘The Grain Brain’ by Dr. David Perlmutter who describes how and why most of her issues could likely be the result of food sensitivities, with the main culprits possibly dairy and gluten. The fact that my own minor inflammatory issues eased after starting on a gluten free diet and cutting out milk convinced me even more that his theories and findings were of value. I decided to ask her doctor for some tests to see what the results would be.

After living with her now for well over a week and observing her obsession with her routines, I sadly have to make peace with the fact that she is too far gone to change… She does not understand it when I have to tell her every night again that I do not eat custard for desert any more. When drinking tea she keeps offering me biscuits and looks puzzled why I only want special gluten free ones and refuse to eat the normal ones she keeps offering. She thinks that I must be very ill not to be able to eat all those ‘healthy’ traditional things and need special bread for lunch, despite my best efforts of explaining why. She does not understand… Every morning she makes the table and places a plate for me to eat my toast that I have not had for breakfast for years. I love my goats milk yoghurt with gluten free cereal and some fresh fruit like a mandarin and/or banana added, along with a black coffee.

She cannot see that I do not need hours any more to wake up every morning and look and feel healthier than when I was in my twenties. She does not remember how badly I suffered from several allergies and was always tired and often sick with every bug that came around, while I was still eating like she does now.

It is difficult listening to the same stories every day and hearing her complain about being tired and her tummy playing up. It is difficult, but I have to be at peace with the facts and make the most of what little time we have left to enjoy our walks in nature and spend time asking all the questions I have not before that I would still like to know before she does not remember the answers.

It makes me sad to see her like this and knowing that with a few changes and additions to her diet she could possibly be free from all her old health issues as well as slow, stop or even improve her declining memory, but you cannot force her to eat things she is convinced would make her feel sick in her stomach.

I am glad however that she still remembers to place an extra plate for me even though I really need a bowl. I am glad that we are able to enjoy those little things now I am here with her, like walking in nature, playing indoor lawnbowls, cleaning the autumn leaves from her garden together, watching the nesting birds around her home and the squirrels stealing the birds bread crumbs…

I am sorry my dear Dutch friends, that this time around I will not take time to party with you, nor run around to visit everyone I have not seen for three years. Maybe we can arrange a meeting on a Sunday afternoon somewhere in a pub for a few hours, later during my stay, where everyone that wishes can come to say g’day before I head back to my duties and work in Australia. For now I intend to make the most of my time with mum. I hope that after reading my story you will understand…

With Gratitude, PollyEsther

Happy Australia Day!

Aussie Flag

Happy Australia Day!

I am GLAD to be Australian and proud to celebrate Australia Day. It was on this day over 10 years ago, that the official Certificate was handed to me.

I’m experiencing a little conflicting, bittersweet feeling about it though ever since a couple of years ago, when I worked for an outdoor entertaining company assisting with a mobile rock climbing wall and inflatables.

We were doing a gig at an indigenous event in a beautiful park in Melbourne with the climbing wall on Australia Day. It was a beautiful warm Summers day. We turned up all happy and ready for a fun day of entertaining with our usual Aussie flag attires for the celebrations….only to be told that the Australian flag was not welcome and appropriate for this event!

We looked at each other a bit puzzled, but took all our aussie flag pieces off out of respect and got into our usual job of setting up and opening up for the kids and willing adults to have a go.

Later during my break l went for a walk around the event, looked at some stalls, enjoyed the music and talked to some people there. As it turned out it was set up to protest against what the Australian government had done to their people and what was currently still being done.

I was aware of some bad actions that had happened during the early days of settlement of this country. I was also aware of some only a generation ago, but not that there was still so much injustice being done today! After all our government had officially apologized…and you don’t hear about it on tv or in the newspaper…I wonder how many people like me are out there?

This meeting made me think about it a lot and I felt sad that our indigenous people did not feel that Australia Day was a day of celebration, but rather a day of occupation.

Coming from a European background, where my parents almost had to change their language from Dutch to German around the second world war, l did understand their pain very well. In fact, so should all born Aussies for we nearly had to learn Japanese around the same time! I wondered what could be done to ease their burden and make a decent celebration, that I can be proud of, full of great traditions, that includes all Australians?

We pride ourselves on being a caring nation and helping each other out when push comes to shove, so why not do a bit more to help our nations original people?

The first thing that came to mind, was maybe cancel or reduce the elaborate fireworks that cost an absolute fortune, provided by our precious tax money, up in smoke, burned in about 10 minutes. Why not donate some of that to help them preserve what little of their culture is left instead? Or maybe some to finance events that encourage exchanges of culture between old and new Australians. We could learn a lot from each other.

If we really are such a caring nation we should maybe start thinking a bit more about the forgotten Australians and about what and how we are celebrating today. It appears on the official government website that there are activities happening to bring both cultures closer, maybe we should get more involved with that and really care?


What are your thoughts on this?