Once upon a time, when I was a little girl, the world seemed like a magical paradise.
A paradise the size of mum’s backyard, full of fragrant flowers, food, insects and birds.
Sitting on my swing, enjoying the breeze against my skin, I would daydream for hours about all the things I wanted to explore.
I learned the limits of my body were seated in my mind. I would visualise a new trick and succeed performing it and with a little practice it would become easy. I learned to do cartwheels, walk some steps on my hands, before losing my balance, landing and rolling with laughter on the soft lawn.
I also learned that if my mind could not “see or feel” myself succeeding first, the trick never worked.
Then I went to school with excitement and anticipation. I loved playing with other kids, explore together, share treats, learning from them and sharing my skills.
It was a lot of fun, untill a boy yelled at me:
“I hate you!”
I remember that strangling sensation in my heart and solar plexus those words caused me. It was so far off my way of understanding the world, I could not think of anything to say in return. I had no idea why someone would be so mean for no reason that I could see.
What had I done or said that made this boy so upset with me? It did not make sense.
That was the day I lost connection with my true self and hid it from the world. I became careful not ever to upset anyone to guard myself from retaliation and aggression. My enthusiastic flame went dim and my essence just lived on as a little pilot light, hidden from the world. I grew insecure, dependant on approval, had health problems and spend many hours at doctors who did not diagnose the cause, but gave me pills and injections instead. My body and me got separated and I lost touch with my inner powers.
I lived in the illusion that shit happens and good health is like a lottery win.
Untill the day I cried out in desperation from the bottom of my heart:
“Why me? Why can I not be healthy like others and not waste my precious life in waiting rooms? Why can I not live like our ancestors, who had no need for medicine in the days that allergies did not exist, only one generation ago? How do I free myself from this burden?…”
That was the day of my turnaround and the start of my journey to freedom from unnatural interference. It all started with a book that changed my perception from being a victim of chance, to knowing there was something I could do to change my predicament. I decided to take back control.
I changed my diet, added supplements, drank more water, dove into martial arts, tried growing bonsais, tried meditation and everything natural that was on offer in the health food shop. I planted medicinal and culinary herbs in my garden and started a vege patch. I learned about Yoga, Reiki and Dao Yin and looked into many books and scriptures of days long gone.
It was a 20 year journey through trial and error. I changed jobs from full time retail to working part time casual outdoors, switching seasonal, from a plant nursery to snowsport instructing, and felt so much happier.
The more I learned, the more I saw the wholeness of visible and invisible nature and my inner pilot light started burning brighter with every epiphany along the way. I found that every time I had a passionate heartfelt internal question, answers would present themselves not long after through books, interactions and experiences, helping me on my journey.
The most powerful and recent nudge was the Wim Hof Method, only 3 years ago, that really solidified my trust in my body, nature and what binds it all through harmony and the intricacy of that amazing balance.
The need for pharmaceutical solutions decreased slowly as my body and mind healed and I relearned to trust and appreciate that magical power inside myself. That “Wholeyness” I felt and touched during powerbreathing and I cried happy tears over the re-connection with that bliss. The more I trust it, the more evidence shows that I am supported, and that health is a personal choice. The Power that connects us all, omnipresent in every aspect of life and the Earth Realm, including my own body, will guide us along the way. The Power that breathes life into an embryo. The Power that keeps us energised with every inhale and cleanses us with every exhale. The limitless Power that answered my questions and nudged me gently towards the answers.
I found it, through going deeper within and finding gratitude, my body, my temple, where Wholeness dwells, because I asked…..
I know that you can too! What do you think?
Disclaimer: This is a personal story and should not be taken as medical advice. You should always discuss any changes in your health with your doctor.
Copyright 2021, by PollyEsther
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My Body my Temple, where Wholeness dwells.