Garden Adventures

It was a beautiful Spring like August day. The days are growing longer again and the Sun feels more radiant than even a couple of weeks ago. I was enjoying a weeding project when all of a sudden I came upon a more tough and dry clay like patch of lighter earth. As I prodded around to loosen the roots with the little rake, I noticed movement next to the small wooden post, where I just removed some grass.

I carefully scanned the area after seeing a large bull ant. Thankfully it seemed to be alone. The memory of having been bitten several times by some that had gotten into my fishing waders had never faded, despite the many years that had passed! I kept a close eye out for where it went, so not to hurt or upset it. It was heading up the post on the far side from me. Still, I got a sense it was keeping an eye on me as well. I was careful not to disturb what now looked like potentially a large nest any further and moved away gradually as I kept weeding and glancing at the whereabouts of the ant.

I saw it reached the flat top of the post and found itself a nice perch. Front legs over the edge at first, looking at my every move with careful suspicion.

There was something majestic about her as she observed me from her high throne. It may be a bit strange, but I felt like I owed her an apology for disturbing the soil in which she had made her home. I promised to take care and not upset her further, now I was aware of her presence. She seemed to relax a bit and I got the sense that she stayed up there out of mutual respect, to not get in my way. I do not think she was afraid, looking at her ‘royal like’ body language, just cautious not to get in harms way.

And just like that, I felt like writing again to share my mundane adventure that left a strong impression on me today. I am so glad I have learned to be at ease with perceived dangers in nature. When fully present in the moment they become more like magical encounters than a threat!

Counting Blessings

As I was driving to the other hardware store that did stock the item I was after, a small stone hit my windscreen a few weeks back. I could see the tiny mark and that it had not done too much damage thankfully. Two weeks later it was a lot warmer and I drove home tired and dehydrated after a long day of hard work in the plant nursery, grateful for the air conditioning in my car. The Sun hit the tiny chip as l drove along the freeway home, making it glisten in a concerning way. It looked as if the small chip had some tiny cracks coming off it on both sides, perhaps triggered by the temperature differences between the outside air and the air conditioned inside air, which spurred me into action to ring the trusted company that I had used before to prevent chips turning into massive cracks. The guy came out the next day. He peeled the protective sticker off that I had stuck on immediately upon returning home before calling them, to find that I must have put it in the wrong spot. His scrutinous eye could not find the small cracks that had worried me so much the day before! He put a little filler in a small spot that looked like it may have been the impact site of a couple of weeks ago as well as topping up an old, much more serious chip they had fixed about a decade ago which was crumbling a little now. “How much do I owe you for this?” I asked, expecting to at least have to pay for a call out fee. His response: “Don’t worry about it” took me by surprise and I quickly dashed to my fridge to see if I had some after work beers for him to at least show him my thanks for the trouble.

My computer was having issues with the latest update and failing to install it despite me trying several times over a couple of weeks. Besides that, I was concerned about the fact that I had not made any backups on the external hard drive since the last time a tech expert helped me speed it up more than a year ago. As it is getting on a bit and you never know when the hard drive in an older laptop will give up and die, I felt an urgency to get that done again too, but with my limited understanding I was too scared to add more to the hard drive that was the only backup of all my pictures that had been slowing my computer down. I was worried the new backup would delete the older one containing all my pictures! So I asked the trusted expert to come back for a house call to sort both issues. He spend at least 20 minutes fixing and explaining. When I asked how much he wanted to be paid for this service, the answer again was: “Don’t worry about it!” and he rushed out the door to get back to his other contract work that was waiting for him in the afternoon.

It was only a few days later that I went to the shops on a Saturday morning just before lunch. Driving along with my windows down to cool the car from standing in the hot Sun, I felt and heard that something had attached itself onto my car tire. when I parked at the shops I found a roofing screw clearly visible and I knew it would only be a matter of time, before the tire starts to deflate. I rang the mechanics that always look after my car, but they had already closed for the day. I rang a couple more places specializing in tire repairs, but being a long weekend none answered my plight. I carefully proceeded to drive to the all the different shops I had planned to visit and made it home safely. I parked it on the lawn to enable us to use the other car that was in the drive, normally parked behind mine.
After the long weekend had finished I rang my mechanic again to find they had no one available that day to fix it and that I was better off going to another place nearby. They were not busy and could help me straight away. The repairer pulled the screw out and smiled. It was a short one and had not punctured the tire fully! As he had spend time putting the car on his bridge to pull it out, I asked: “how much”?
Again the answer was: “Don’t worry about it”….

What is going on? Three times lucky? I don’t know, but I certainly am counting my blessings and they seem to keep on coming in current times!

It may be my changed attitude to trusting things will work out and knowing I am looked after by higher forces that guide me on the right path of helping people. I know for sure that the calmer I feel and the more gratitude I generate, the more evidence I see of this support. Not only that, the more evidence I see, the more grateful I feel as a result!

My mum turned 90 in March this year, after having been on the brink of death several times since she moved into the nursing home, first after a fall, and again last November when she was diagnosed with the dreaded C-word that stopped the world in 2020. She made it through with a sniffle and fatique and recovered. The nurses have started calling her the miracle lady! She has outlived all the original residents that she moved in with when she arrived there in January 2019, despite her frailty!

The nursing home is in Europe and I had been visiting twice a year from Australia since her admission. Of course travel has stopped and I am unable to visit currently, so I feel so grateful things have gone the way they have, especially in regards to timing…
Imagine I would have had to deal with her admission in the past year? She could not have coped another year at home with her dementia… How could l have helped her move and bring her those extra jamies and other things she needed and forgot? I am so grateful she was well settled in by 2020 and having seen how the nursing staff deals with their residents, I have full trust that she is in the best place she could be, close to her friends and familiar surrounds.

Have you experienced more blessings as a result of gratitude too?

Please share in the comments!

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My body, my temple, where Wholeness dwells.

Once upon a time, when I was a little girl, the world seemed like a magical paradise.
A paradise the size of mum’s backyard, full of fragrant flowers, food, insects and birds.
Sitting on my swing, enjoying the breeze against my skin, I would daydream for hours about all the things I wanted to explore.

I learned the limits of my body were seated in my mind. I would visualise a new trick and succeed performing it and with a little practice it would become easy. I learned to do cartwheels, walk some steps on my hands, before losing my balance, landing and rolling with laughter on the soft lawn.
I also learned that if my mind could not “see or feel” myself succeeding first, the trick never worked.

Then I went to school with excitement and anticipation. I loved playing with other kids, explore together, share treats, learning from them and sharing my skills.

It was a lot of fun, untill a boy yelled at me:

“I hate you!”

I remember that strangling sensation in my heart and solar plexus those words caused me. It was so far off my way of understanding the world, I could not think of anything to say in return. I had no idea why someone would be so mean for no reason that I could see.
What had I done or said that made this boy so upset with me? It did not make sense.

That was the day I lost connection with my true self and hid it from the world. I became careful not ever to upset anyone to guard myself from retaliation and aggression. My enthusiastic flame went dim and my essence just lived on as a little pilot light, hidden from the world. I grew insecure, dependant on approval, had health problems and spend many hours at doctors who did not diagnose the cause, but gave me pills and injections instead. My body and me got separated and I lost touch with my inner powers.
I lived in the illusion that shit happens and good health is like a lottery win.

Untill the day I cried out in desperation from the bottom of my heart:

“Why me? Why can I not be healthy like others and not waste my precious life in waiting rooms? Why can I not live like our ancestors, who had no need for medicine in the days that allergies did not exist, only one generation ago? How do I free myself from this burden?…”

That was the day of my turnaround and the start of my journey to freedom from unnatural interference. It all started with a book that changed my perception from being a victim of chance, to knowing there was something I could do to change my predicament. I decided to take back control.
I changed my diet, added supplements, drank more water, dove into martial arts, tried growing bonsais, tried meditation and everything natural that was on offer in the health food shop. I planted medicinal and culinary herbs in my garden and started a vege patch. I learned about Yoga, Reiki and Dao Yin and looked into many books and scriptures of days long gone.

It was a 20 year journey through trial and error. I changed jobs from full time retail to working part time casual outdoors, switching seasonal, from a plant nursery to snowsport instructing, and felt so much happier.

The more I learned, the more I saw the wholeness of visible and invisible nature and my inner pilot light started burning brighter with every epiphany along the way. I found that every time I had a passionate heartfelt internal question, answers would present themselves not long after through books, interactions and experiences, helping me on my journey.

The most powerful and recent nudge was the Wim Hof Method, only 3 years ago, that really solidified my trust in my body, nature and what binds it all through harmony and the intricacy of that amazing balance.

Butterfly by PollyEsther, quote by Richard Bach

The need for pharmaceutical solutions decreased slowly as my body and mind healed and I relearned to trust and appreciate that magical power inside myself. That “Wholeyness” I felt and touched during powerbreathing and I cried happy tears over the re-connection with that bliss. The more I trust it, the more evidence shows that I am supported, and that health is a personal choice. The Power that connects us all, omnipresent in every aspect of life and the Earth Realm, including my own body, will guide us along the way. The Power that breathes life into an embryo. The Power that keeps us energised with every inhale and cleanses us with every exhale. The limitless Power that answered my questions and nudged me gently towards the answers.

I found it, through going deeper within and finding gratitude, my body, my temple, where Wholeness dwells, because I asked…..

I know that you can too! What do you think?

With Gratitude,

PollyEsther

Disclaimer: This is a personal story and should not be taken as medical advice. You should always discuss any changes in your health with your doctor.

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My Body my Temple, where Wholeness dwells.

PollyEsther

Why do odd things seem normal?

While overseas, in my native country, the Netherlands, for the first time since moving to Australia on a permanent visa about 10 years earlier, I felt homesick for Australia. This was quite a strange realization as many immigrants seem to feel the other way around. This experience was an important part of me deciding to become an Australian Citizen, so I too had a say in the politics that concerned me and gain the right to vote for the people and parties that did what felt right to me, as well as being able to call Australia truly my home. The other was that on several overseas flights I had experienced inconvenient holdups in Customs due to an issue with the visa in my passport, causing them to have to ring Canberra every time to ask for permission to let me fly back to Australia. This was especially troubling as I was traveling with a group of friends that had to wait for me. Another helpful deciding factor was that I was able to retain my Dutch citizenship, phew!

In hindsight it may have been a deep longing for the freedom I perceived to have gained by my move to Australia. I treasured the fact that you could still drink the water from mountain streams and camp in the bush near a river somewhere, instead of a bustling caravan park. So many untouched areas of wilderness left here, where you can easily escape from the sights and sounds of civilization like traffic, loud music and voices. Go for a skinny dip, catch a fish for dinner, cook on the fire and find yourself back in harmony with nature. A young and free country full of land to explore and escape to, where only natures laws are important…

I had to produce a lot of original and certified documents that had to be translated for the authorities here. The application process took quite some time, which was no issue, just a lot of effort and stress, which I always experience when dealing with any organization and paperwork. Thankfully I was already allowed to continue staying with my permanent visa.

When time came to vote, I looked at my options. I had never really been interested in politics, as much of the talk used to go straight over my head. Well, I found out immediately that most of my friends and family could not answer my questions about the system and it seemed very complex. Not only that, I failed to find any party that resembled anything close to the one I had been faithful to in the Netherlands!
It did not exist! All the other options seemed wrong, for all they could do was talk about the mistakes of the opposing side, instead of the good plans they were going to introduce, but hey, best use my vote and give it to the better of the 2 bad options, right?

Time went on and I kept voting that way, until I had to postpone a return flight home to Australia, dealing with delays and broken promises from agencies and psychiatrists that were involved with my mother’s admission into a nursing home. I missed the local election! I had no idea it was being held during my absence, as they only started talking about it on the media a few weeks beforehand, after I had left the country. The news in the Netherlands does not exactly cover the local council elections in Victoria! I found a fine in the mail after I returned! What the…!.? Why do they fine you for missing an election due to family circumstances? Or hardly any circumstance at all?

To me, who never missed voting in a country where there was only a missed opportunity to have a say as consequence for not voting, that seemed extremely odd, but hey, maybe thats what it takes to motivate those laid back Aussies to participate in politics and contribute to our democracy and freedom?
My friends and family said: “Well, thats just how things are done in this country”.

I asked: “If the majority of the population does not agree with what our chosen politicians do when in power, which I had observed so far never seems to be what little good they promised before election, what can we do to hold them accountable?” Again, none of my friends and family had a clue or decent solution to offer, and I was not sufficiently versed in laws and official lingo, to find out from available sources myself. I let it go, focused on other things I did have power over, and kept trying to support the smallest parties that were the closest to my ideas in what they promised, to hopefully avoid giving my vote inadvertently to the 2 ‘big bad boys’

Why would a government feel that people need punishment as an incentive to vote? If they did a great job and listened to us, would people not naturally turn up in droves to keep supporting them, to keep doing what they are doing so well? Or is there possibly an underlying reason? Like that we do not really get a choice and voice…? Where are the candidates that follow up on their election promises, that we, the people can believe in, that stand up for our interests in our so called democracy, as we have been told they should do? To me it seems very suspicious of not being very democratic and again I asked questions like what does it take to get a government that actually listens to the people? How can we promote a transparent, simpler more logical election process that anyone can understand, including immigrants like me? Looking at the current situation overseas and election issues coming to light there, I wonder… Is this the time it could happen? Is America due for a new political system where the people do get their voices heard? What does that mean for governments around the world that are probably tied up in the suspected wrongdoings?

This morning I thought about this again, when I looked at a thread about another hot topic on Twitter. A doctor claimed that there should be a dialog possible about not forcing people to get vaccinated. Wow, so many closed minded highly emotional responses outweighing the sensible approaches! I believe everyone has the right to their opinion, so why attack others of a different opinion? Why so black and white? If people have reservations about the safety of the vaccinations, it does not make sense to me to slap them straight into the anti-vax corner and call them ugly names! What is wrong with the middle ground and demanding that proper unbiased research and double blind tests by independent scientists be made available for all that want to know and see full safety proven first instead? Why do pro-vaxers worry about people who don’t want to vaccinate? What have they got to worry about if they believe they are protected by the vaccine?

I am NOT anti vaccination, and have in fact had most vaccinations recommended to me in the past, for I did believe it was a good thing to do at that time.

This time however, I am becoming highly suspicious for the lack of research available to see so early in the process of developing the vaccines, while large companies are starting to threaten with possible, some very costly (like self financed hotel quarantines) sanctions for those unwilling to cooperate with a proposed worldwide vaccination program. Whether they are sensitive to the substances or refusing for other good and valid reasons, is not even open for discussion right now!

Why the need to rush these vaccinations, really, when there have been several very successful therapeutics, with proven safety records, so far mostly denied to the public and not spoken about in mainstream media? Why is there no talk about what people can do in regards to lifestyle, diet and supplements like Zinc, vit.C and D, that would dramatically increase survival rates, if not prevent infection, as some very knowledgeable, properly trained and certified doctors have shown. Why is there no talk about ionising air conditioning systems to keep inside air clean and safe to breathe? Did you know that our nose releases nitric oxide as a pathogen exterminator when used for breathing? How many are under stress and feeling anxiety right now, and breathe through their mouths because of this? What about the effects of UV in our powerful Sun and special lights disinfecting our surrounds? Why is a lot of helpful empowering information being censored so heavily on social and mainstream media?

Can we still trust our government and institutions to do what is best for us if their finances also come from sources with vested interests? A lot of things smell badly off here, and because of THAT, I am unwilling to blindly trust the current vaccines at this early stage. Without seeing thourough unbiased and double blind research data, how can I, based on my experiences and observations? What about knowing what the long term side effects will be? Remember some other vaccinations that we were sold in the past few decades, that were more damaging than people expected? Those lawsuits still go on today!

It is becoming blatantly obvious to me, that common sense is out the window and we are heading for a cliff if we stick to this road,

but why does it still seem normal to so many?…

Why do people listen to fear spreading exaggerated messages and let it influence their lives? Don’t they see and understand that fear puts us into a sympathetic mindset, that is great for fight and flight, but also overrides logic and common sense, besides shutting down the effectiveness of our immune system!? Do people not know their own true power any more, and why do they allow others to control that? Do they not understand that the emotion of fear creates the circumstances in the future that will generate more fear? Is that what we collectively want to create, a future to be feared?…

It is time for more transparency and true freedom of information, if they want the people to cooperate, trust their governments and other ruling organizations, and comply with their wishes. How can we trust our institutions, if they are secretive? What are they hiding from us? Why don’t they trust us with the truth and show us some solid research? Lao Tzu wrote among some more tips for governing 3000 years ago:

“If you don’t trust the people, they become untrustworthy.”

Would it not be good to have that framed and hung in every political office, to remind them we are mostly sensible people that will do the right thing when needed, given the right truthful information, without the threats.

Another quote I wish to frame and hang in their offices would be:

“Consider your grandkids in every decision made”.

There wont be any sanctions needed if we are trusted to do the sensible thing, like me feeling a need to fulfil my voting duties in the Netherlands. We can scrap a large part of our societies rules and regulations when motivation comes from clarity, positivity, love, respect, transparency and honesty. Maybe we just need to get back to the basics of the Constitution and 10 Commandments?

We need to work together in our immediate communities and stand up to improve health, wellbeing, prosperity and so much more that can easily be improved when funds are redirected from wasteful spending! With creativity, diversity and a desire to benefit all living beings now, and in our future, we can build a true happy place for everyone! It starts locally with individual choices to uplift and benefit others.

I Have faith that the current times are a fleeting moment of awakening common sense in people and governments, and that our future is going to be one, so amazingly great, we can only just imagine the possibilities now. A future to feel grateful for, glad about, full of beauty, health, abundance for all, community, cooperation, true freedom, peace and happiness!

It starts by educating yourself and not getting swept up in the fear tide. Aim to actively spread awareness, unconditional love, individual empowerment, truth, honesty and transparency! One of the most important things you can learn today is how to be in control of your emotions by applying certain breathing techniques and generate awareness of when you are functioning from the sympathetic or parasympathetic nervous system. We need to feed the wolf inside ourselves we like the best, if we want it to become stronger than his opposing brother! Education is the path to Freedom! Get to KNOW thyself!

What would you suggest to help improve our future to one we can all feel more grateful about? Please leave a comment.

With Gratitude, PollyEsther

The Secret Ingredient

TRUTH AND TRUST
Deception deep down holes,
departments infiltrated moles!
Paper clips and spiderwebs,
banking for eternal debts!
Inventions bought and hiding,
preventing commons thriving!
Unheard Tartar mystery,
forgotten old world history?
Symptom eradication,
over origin extermination!
Injustice in spotlights,
stirring emotional outcries…
When nothing makes sense,
best stay on that fence?
Confusion, opinions galore,
what angles do you adore?
Children, furniture and food,
do NOT let it ruin your mood!
How does it feel?
Feeling is real!
As it is felt,
so will be dealt!
Can you find gratitude?
Can you alter attitude?
Can you see the silver lining,
behind a storm cloud shining?
What good will we manifest,
and who deserves the best?
A future so bright,
evil blinded day and night!
Castles for homeless,
myth busting needless?
Rulers transparency,
commons, not hereditary.
Nature harmoniously respected,
flora and fauna protected.
Abundance with no strings,
emotional value, not things!
All needs are met,
ALL, from A to Z!
A war fought within’s,
already won before it begins!
TRUST! _/\_

As fear and confusion reign and emotions are stirred, I want to point out the importance of not dwelling on what we perceive and the resulting feelings, but spend most of your dwelling time visualising, and especially feeling in your heart, what you would like to encounter in the future now.

The above poem helped me put things in perspective during a time my muse had left me, or did he?

Maybe I was a victim myself too, getting swept up by the fear tide that has been rolling around the world. Thankfully my knowledge and years of training helped me swim back to the shore in time to curb the damage.

I am so glad to have seen so much in the past that has happened as I once dreamed it into being. A simple thing like a heartfelt thought on one of my childhood birthdays, that were usually wet and cold in November in the Netherlands. I wished from the bottom of my heart that one day I would spend my Birthday in a warm climate, like Australia… I was seeing the smiling faces at my garden party in my minds eye… It took a while, but it finally happened this week when we had a freak hot Spring day on my Birthday of 32 degrees Celcius!

There have been so many amazing small and larger moments in my everyday life in the past year, despite all that’s happening around me, from a feather found in confirmation of my thoughts, to making it blatantly obvious that serendipity follows me always, provided I have trust things will work out for the best.

What initially seemed like bad news, like one of my part time jobs and brand new small business being affected by circumstances, causing me to be home more than usual turned out a blessing. The positive results were being able to take care of my husband who came down with health issues, enjoying a break from all the travels in the past few years looking after mum overseas, and my other part time job offering extra hours.

Luck is what you make it, and as I see it, just another word for karma. Do onto others what you would like others to do onto you and trust that in times of need help will be provided. Ask and it is given! Cry poor and receive poor, Celebrate abundance, observe what happens! Do not believe me, do your own experiments!

Its is really simple, just be glad, seek out anything you can feel wholeheartedly grateful about and trust your Creator. The secret ingredient is heartfelt emotion!

With Gratitude,

PollyEsther

The End of the World as we know it…

About a month ago I was at the Dentist for a checkup and annual clean of my teeth. Since it had been some time since an x-ray was done, I followed the dentist’s advice and allowed her to do one. Unfortunately my financial situation is such that I have to make choices as to what to spend my money on and when, so when she suggested to treat a cavity that showed up on the x-ray sooner rather than later, I decided to do it later. The reason was that I had just started my new business of conducting Wim Hof Method workshops as a newly qualified Instructor and expected to make a little extra money on top of my meagre part time casual Nursery job very soon. I felt on top of the world, for finally, after 5 years of living on the edge of poverty without my husbands income and getting by with insufficient funds from the Government, I saw a ray of Sunshine brightening up our future.

I organised one workshop in February and planned on doing at least 3 through March, making it a regular highlight in the local Sports and Recreation Centre as more people started to find out about it. The signs were hopeful as I saw my second workshop selling a lot faster and to more people than my first, that just broke even or maybe lost a little, with only two people present. I was still happy despite that, for one participant left a lovely review, which showed my capacity and care helping convince future potential participants to give it a go too. I am still waiting to see what the return will be as I am currently still awaiting my reimbursement from the ‘Hoffice’, as we call the Wim Hof Method headquarters in the Netherlands.

Needless to explain, as of last week I had to cancel all future plans for live workshops indefinitely and a feeling of powerlessness started to overshadow my life. The cavity was still on my mind though and as the Government put restrictions in place I decided to take the chance and pay for fixing it from a loan, trusting that eventually things will go back to normal and I will resume my workshops to catch up and pay it back. It took me a few days to make up my mind and weigh up the risks versus the benefits with an uncertain future ahead of us, but the thought of the cavity escalating into a more serious dilemma, made me go ahead and ring the dentist on Wednesday for an appointment. The assistant agreed that I could come in Thursday afternoon after work.

At the end of my working day, to be on the cautious side, I washed my hands and sprayed myself all over with disinfectant before jumping in the car. I did not know whether I had been in contact with the virus, for the long incubation times reported and lack of present symptoms in many that had already transmitted it as this pandemic started to take hold on the world. I certainly did not want to be part of spreading it further to anyone I had to deal with, as well as thinking about my poor husband at home, who already has problems with his lungs and overall health as it is.

The traffic was a lot quieter than usual and the drive home was a smooth one, so l rushed into the nearby shop to grab a few items that I was needing, before going to the dentist. With all the new rules of distancing this is a bit of mission now, waiting for people to move away from the shelf you have your eyes on, before you are able to grab what you are after and it did take longer than usual to get out of the store. I quickly put my shopping in the car and ran to the dentist about 50 meters further down the street.

Thankfully I was not too late and still had to wait for my consultation. I sat down with my hands on my lap, careful not to move or touch anything, especially my face. After a few minutes the assistant came to me with a device to check my temperature, by holding it near my forehead. It felt this warranted during the developments of the last few days, that they check incoming visitors for mild symptoms as a safeguard for their and other patients health. As I felt great and had not socialised with anyone, besides my husband and a small number of colleagues for the past week and a half, this did not worry me, until she said that my temperature was elevated and had to come down, before they would consider treating me! I did point out the fact that menopause was upon me and that I did suffer hot flushes as a side effect on a daily basis, but rules are rules and they were told by the dentist association not to treat anyone with an elevated temperature. Thankfully they were kind enough for me to sit there for some time and check again to see that it was dropping. The dentist agreed to see me, phew!

What was it that I wanted her to do? I refreshed her memory to our agreement about a month ago, to treat that deeper cavity that had shown on the x-rays and she pulled out the files to see. Next she returns to me apologising that she was now unable to help me under the level 2 restrictions, for it required drilling and that this was now prohibited, unless there was severe discomfort for the patient, for the reason that this activity releases small particles into the air and could contribute in spreading the virus! I calmly accepted her explanation and she offered to put me on a waiting list to contact as soon as these restrictions are lifted.

I walked out of there with a heavy heart and serious concern for our future lives and freedom. This is when it sank in, that no matter how well we get through all this, the world has changed overnight and will never be what it was… https://youtu.be/wa43FNUdpU8

How far is this going to affect the way we are able to access health services, future gatherings, international flights and so much more! This is only the start! I am sure that we will have to adapt to many more restrictions and so called necessary compulsory regulations in the near and far future ahead of us, where discrimination will morph from external differences to more subtle internal ones, opening up the possibilities of a worldwide regime, controlling our every move for the sake of humanities safety!…. A new world where we are forced to have preventative treatments from organisations that hugely benefit from the returns without much true consideration for our opinions and long term health. If we refuse, based on our own opinions and convictions, we will be considered guilty of wrongdoing and putting the rest of the population at risk, with the result being huge discord and separation in society between groups with different viewpoints. Basically forcing everyone to be on the same page in their thinking and opinions! We will highly likely be restricted and refused basic services such as air travel, joining group activities and a choice in healthcare, unless we conform to the ideas of a fear filled manipulated society!

Sorry, this sounds extremely depressing and at this stage I have no idea how far this will be allowed to go and how far our freedom will be restricted from this moment in time, once the immediate danger subsides. All I know and see is that the World will never go back to what it looked like only several weeks ago.

On the flip side, this has also allowed me to contemplate a brighter future for social relationships and bonding through adversity. It pleases me to see total strangers taking action and helping the ones in society that need it most. People finding the courage to open up and share their deepest feelings with others, something they would have not felt at ease with several months ago. We come together through technology and socialise in a new way, apart, yet together to rise above this and produce a positive spark, a little optimism and humour to lift others spirits. Today, more than ever we realise that we are all connected and cannot get through this on our own. I must admit I have shed a few positive emotional tears of hope over the selflessness and actions of many individuals in the past week and can see that there is still hope for humanity to turn this experience into something we rise up from with true selflessness and a better future in mind.

Even in these dark times I can still find gratitude, actually more so than before, as the realisation sinks in that we cannot take anything for granted. We are so blessed with our access to the internet to stay connected and informed. How good does it feel now, to find a few last packets of toilet paper on a supermarket shelf? Or score that last can of baked beans, a thing we could not have imagined only 1 month ago!

Serendipity is still active too as I think how several things in my life have worked out for the better, like for example me not pre-booking that airline ticket as mums health is declining and could take a turn for the worse any day. I decided to leave it till the last minute, so I would not have to pay extra to change the dates, should I be required to go suddenly. Even though my heart hurts badly for the restrictions prohibiting me from my duties to take care of her and return the love she has given to me all my life, I trust she is in the best place with the best care possible right now, and that it will all work out somehow in due time.

For now hold tight, focus on, Be Glad about whatever positive things you can find around you and keep dreaming and focusing on a better future with more personal freedom and a return to harmony with our Mother Earth.

We have so much more power if we keep our focus away from the doom and gloom and use it to construct the World we would love to build for our children. I do feel it is important to be informed of all that is going on and not stick our heads in the sand, but now is the time and the last turnaround point where we have to be strong enough to balance that knowledge with constructive focus, if we want that future for our children to be one where we are in harmony with Mother Earth, the flora, fauna and fellow humans…. or… create a society where creativity and individuality are forced out of us by social, political and technological control.

Choose wisely!

With Thanks and Gratitude,

PollyEsther

Lucky Feather

“Enjoy your walk” said my neighbor from her front yard. I had stopped for a quick chat with her on my usual before dinner dog walk. “Thank you, I always do” I replied.

She did not have time for a long one today as she was standing outside freshly showered after work, ready to leave for her weekly meditation class.

In my head the thoughts did not stop as I walked on towards the corner of our small Court. Walking is a form of meditation for me, breathing fresh air, sometimes with a hint of salt and seaweed blowing in with the cool sea breeze coming off Westernport Bay. Focusing on how it makes my body feel, the sensation of my skin curling itself into goosebumps on my bare arms, now followed by a deep relaxing breath to not resist what is. I love looking around, observing the little marvels of nature scattered through our neighborhood and allowing my body to work on making some essential vitamin D…

Lately something interesting has been occuring every single walk. To most people it may seem extremely trivial, but to me it is like a sign of approval from nature that I am on the right track, reconnecting, and if a dear friend of mine is correct, it may even bring me luck.

As those thoughts were whirling around I stopped myself for a moment and re focused back to the moment and my surrounds. I first looked around and next down… and there it was again, to the left of my foot on the pavement, a perfectly shaped fresh feather. The timing and place could not have been more serendipitous and I could not help wonder if there was something else involved and what it may symbolize. After all I feel like living at a turnaround point of change in my life again, with my first Wim Hof Method workshop last Sunday resulting in a great review on my instructor profile. I took a deep breath, straightened my posture and smiled as I crossed the street and walked on.

Ofcourse I picked it up to take home to my now pretty fast growing collection of feathers.

It brings me joy and gratitude looking at all my ‘exotic’ feathers from local Lorikeets, Galahs, Cockatoos, Magpies, Owls and Kookaburras and who knows what other species I did not reconize. Who would have thought this possible when I was a little girl growing up in the Netherlands all those years ago?

I am so glad I live in a country with such wonderful and colourful birds. Do you bring home treasures you find on your walks too?

With Gratitude,

PollyEsther

Gratitude flowing over

Last Saturday my fears became a reality. A fire front moved into the settlement of Cobungra…..

It was a nightmare day for bushfires. The temperatures reached over 40 degrees Celsius, which I believe is triple digits on the Fahrenheit scale… in many places the fires were already burning for weeks and the hot northerly wind fanned them to extreme proportions. On that day a fire front hit the tiny community of Cobungra….again…

Several homes had only been rebuild 16 years ago after a bushfire came through in 2003. The firefighters were busy in a nearby village back then, and when they realized that the fire had travelled to the tiny settlement as well, they drove down with a truck to check. The truck arrived amidst an inferno that forced them to retreat back into the vehicle. They barely survived the intense heat from multiple fronts that attacked the ridge from 3 sides at once themselves!

At the same time a single bloke named Fred was huddling under wet blankets in the farthest deepest corner of his unfinished house he was building and close to finishing. His dog was dying in the shed where he had locked him in for safety, while he was running around putting out attacking embers. Sadly the fire fronts encroached so fast that he had to run for shelter, to save his own life, unable to rescue his dog. He barely survived due to lack of oxygen and said that meditating was the only thing that kept him alive. His house survived, but he lost so much around it. The experience left him traumatized and he has since always said he would evacuate, should a fire ever come back.

Well…to my surprise he stayed last Saturday to defend Cobungra again!!!

This time however he had help from 2 other neighbors, and use of a firetruck that the shire had stored in a shed in Cobungra because of what had happened in ’03.

The second bloke, Dale, is an amazing individual who is a granddad, Ski patroller in Winter, Jackaroo at Cobungra Station, Wildlife rescuer, a talented base player in a local punk rock band and CFA volunteer firefighter. The community is full of praise over all his selfless actions and volunteer work.

The third bloke, Bart, is also an exceptional guy. Ex pro snowboarder, singer/guitarist of the band, used to work on ships as a chef for years and just started his own small biz in his shed at Cobungra, painting cars, so he can be home more for his beautiful partner Laura. (who is the band’s drummer!) He also build his own house there, and if anything needs fixing, he is always ready to help anyone. On Saturday he lost 2 cars, 2 caravans, a skate ramp and probably more around his own house while saving everyone else’s….

So these 3 guys and 1 firetruck pulled off the impossible last Saturday!!! Saving EVERY house on the ridge!!! This included my second home that I live in during the Snow season while I work for the nearby ski resort of Mount Hotham. They did have a little backup from 4 other guys down the road, that I think would have been busy covering the lower parts of Cobungra. I cannot wait to hear all the stories of what went on when we get together soon. At the moment the area is still unsafe and it is better to wait and see what flares up next, before travelling into the mountains.

My gratitude is SO ENORMOUS and I know that all the other locals feel the same, as we witnessed, most from a safe location, in agony (hotspot map online and fb) the fire engulfing our beloved mountain homes again…. Not knowing if our friends were safe and what exactly was unfolding there was nerve wracking! Let alone what they were facing!

I tried to send good vibes to the area and focused on rain like never before along with many around the globe and it worked! 🙏 They received a welcome drizzle and cool change that night and the following days. A few days to rest up and recover from all the emotions and hard work.

Thursday the weather changed back to the usual Summer conditions again and yesterday another miracle happened! A smouldering log near the boundary of our property and Fred’s nextdoor set the surrounding bush alight. From what l saw in private video footage it looked to be in a location that l know is thickly covered in dogwood, highly flammable undergrowth up to 3m’s in height, common in our area…

I was elated to see a helicopter attacking this flare-up, resulting in successfully averting this danger too. I was also elated about the fact that the CFA (Country Fire Authority) has managed to help the residents of Cobungra in time to stop things from escalating, especially after what they had already been through! A firetruck would have had no access to that area due to dense bushes and steep terrain.

I am endlessly grateful and super Glad that, for now, we still have roofs over our heads up there, in the beautiful mountains of the Victorian High Country, both permanent and part time residents.

*Residents names have been altered for privacy reasons*

Am I going mad?

That thought came to me a lot in the past eight weeks while looking after my mum overseas, who is suffering dementia. Needless to say it was a stressful period with little time to myself. I managed to occasionally get out for an early morning walk, as you could read in my previous post, which felt great and enabled me to focus on my own needs briefly. I focussed on my posture and breath while walking and came home feeling ready to face the day ahead. On the wetter days I resorted to some morning yoga on my mat, that always comes along for any trip.

I bought some yarn and crocheted a vest in a few weeks, while mum was pretending to read the newspaper in front of the tv and drank lots of rooibos tea. This all comforted me and kept me sane and patient in dealing with her varying moods, worries, repetitive stories and questions. Still, I felt tired a lot and in need of an extra boost.

I was not specifically looking for anything, but a visit to a sauna did cross my mind a few times. While mum was resting after lunch, I spend time watching some interviews about longevity, a subject I am always trying to learn more about. In one of the episodes of this American based series, a dutch guy explained how he learned to cope better with stress and affected his immune system, by following some simple breathing techniques, as well as creating an extraordinary resilience in extreme environmental conditions such as heat and cold. To prove his claims he proceeded to set 20+ world records, like running marathons in the arctic circle and Kalahari desert in shorts only, as well as climbing the Kilimanjaro in record time, also just wearing shorts and sneakers. He swam under the polar icecap without a wetsuit! He was able to control his autonomic nervous and immune system, which was previously thought to be outside of our conscious power and his claims were backed up by extensive professional medical research in various universities in the Netherlands and United States. He also proved with medical tests that anyone can learn to do this with a group of volunteers in 4 days. He got my attention!

This was the second time his name cropped up. While I was visiting mum a year and a half earlier, I watched a documentary about the dutch astronaut legend Wubbo Ockels, who was fighting a losing battle with cancer. He was using Wim Hof’s breathing and cold exposure method to alleviate his suffering successfully, likely extending his prognosis. This documentary did not expand into the method nor Wim Hof much, but it did stay in my mind as fascinating.

It took a third stumble on his method, before it dawned on me that this might be just what I needed to research more thoroughly. I looked up the website http://www.wimhofmethod.com , watched a few video’s and warmed (pun intended) more and more to the idea of trying this, especially after watching the video of Laird Hamilton, a well know legend of big wave surfing endorsing the ‘Wim Hof Method’, or WHM for short. I checked out the events calender and found that Anne Eijssink http://www.eijscoach.nl , one of the qualified instructors was holding a workshop not too far from where I was staying. I signed up…

Her workshop was divided in two sessions 2 weeks apart. The second one was sceduled later than my flight back home and after an email exchange she offered me a private session for the second part at her home in Zutphen a few days before my departure.

The 2 1/2 hour group session was held at an interesting location in Wichmond, in her sister’s farm office/fitness studio, build inside the stable, high above the mozying cows, which surprizingly had a calming effect watching them going about their business underneath. After a coffee and introduction we learned how the way we breathe affects our emotions and energy levels, how it all works in the body and how to have more control over our emotions using our breath. We did some relaxation breathing, pushups and slowly proceeded to the WHM of breathing to feel the differences. Our homework was to use the breathing method daily for the next 30 days and aim to at least finish in the shower with cold water to improve circulation. This benefits the effects from the breathing, by ensuring the energising oxygen gets into every nook and cranny of our body.

In the second private session in Zutphen I learned more about mindset, focus, motivation and the effect on our reality and quality of life, followed by another breathing session. She made me practice a horse stance punching air and breathing, which was to be done before and after the bath in cold water topped up with a few buckets of ice…

Slowly I stepped into the icy bath and made sure to keep going steadily deeper into the water untill I sat in it submerged up to my chest. My body was protesting by painfully constricting the smaller bloodvessels, in my legs especially. Not unlike the opposite effect, when your hands and feet get really cold and you warm them under the warm water tap or in front of a fire. I hung in there untill my breath became slow and steady. The pain eased. I am unsure how long I sat there, but probably not much more than a couple of minutes before I felt the need to get out. My legs were a bit numb now and I looked down to see if they were still attached and holding me up.

Anne was really supportive, talking me through the experience. As soon as I stood there punching air in the late Autumn Sun that peeked out from behind the clouds smiling down on me, I felt a warm wave pulsing through my body. It felt invigorating! After the airpunches she suggested I try get back in the bath again, which I did. After all she spend a fair bit of time and effort preparing this bath, hacking the bucketsize iceblocks into smaller bits with an axe, which I did not want to go to waste. The pain was a lot less this time around and I even managed to smile for the pictures she offered to take for proof.

Driving home I still felt the ‘high’ it had had given me, despite the occasional shiver of my body slowly getting back to its usual state. I am so GLAD I gave into the urge to do something beneficial for myself too while there, listening to the suble messages and going with my urge to satisfy my curiosity, despite it being a tat crazy.

I still do the breathing method every day with the help of the WHM app and finish my shower with cold water. I love the feeling of peace, of giving my body complete rest for a minute or so while doing the breath hold. I even had a shower outside under the hose after I mowed the lawns and got covered in dust a day after I returned. Even though the weather here in Australia is heading into Summer and a far cry from chilly ‘Holland’ at the end of Autumn, it still invigorates me and gives me a lot more energy throughout the day. The more subtle effects are that my lungs and sinuses clear out more muck. It does seem to affect my motivation to take action on my thoughts and ideas and decrease my normally present procrastination on decisions. Also am I able to walk around barefoot more now without getting them cold all the time.

At one point, not long before the workshop, I went to bed with a heavy head and woke with an increasingly unpleasant headache. After my early morning breathing session and recommended inversion exercise on the app, it cleared up completely! I am curious to find out where this can take me and what the long term benefits will be, but even if it is only to be more resilient in the cold, it is already worth it!

What do you think?

Am I going mad?

Autumn Leaves are falling down

My alarm goes off around 7.30 am, regardless of what day it is at the moment. I know mum does not get up for at least another hour, so this is MY time, time to reflect and time to enjoy the splendour of nature at my own pace.

It has been a hectic, sometimes stressful and confusing year for me so far. Hence why you have not seen much action here either. After a fairly uneventful Summer I travelled from Australia, into Spring in the Netherlands mid March, where my cousin was waiting for me to help her get organised, in case a bad situation would eventuate with my elderly mum, to be prepared for everything. We found a fitting nursing home with a large garden and arranged as much as I could fit in the 4 weeks I stayed, like meal deliveries, meetings with care staff, doctors etc., to keep her living independently as long as possible, along with spending time with mum as well.

Upon returning home in Australia late April I got a phone call the next day, still groggy from jet lag, after which I found myself working an extra 5 nights a week, while trying to catch up in my garden at home and get that ready for my absence during Winter and work in the nursery part time! Well, no rest over Winter either, with record snowfalls, more lodge guests than ever, and keeping my promise from last year to my manager then, of attending more ski training this season! I had to leave a week before closing of the lifts, to fly back to the Netherlands for mum, who had deteriorated badly over their unusually hot Summer.

So here I am, finding myself utterly confused after Summer followed by Spring, followed by Winter and now in Autumn, but thankfully healthy and well. Something I unfortunately cannot say about my mum, who is physically doing very well, but mentally in need of full time support.

I swiftly throw on my ‘trackies’, hoodie and sneakers, over my pyjamas to keep the chill of the early morning out and quietly sneak out of the door. I am so glad mum chose to live at the edge of a small town in the Netherlands, from where it only takes me a few minutes to walk the street that brings me to the paddocks showing the Sunrise in full glory. I savour the wide open space, still in peace and quiet this early in the morning, especially during the weekends when work traffic is absent.

When I walk I focus on my surrounds, nature waking up along with myself and my body. It is easy to get sidetracked during the day and fall into bad habits in regards to posture, but during the stillness of the morning it is easier to focus on walking with a straighter back and shoulders relaxed in the right spot, arms swinging loosely in harmony with my stride. It feels so good to take a deep breath full of life’s most important energy that somehow feels more rejuvenating at this hour than the rest of the day.

I take many deep breaths during the day as well, but most are for the purpose of keeping my sanity and composure while mum asks me the same question for the 30th time in an hour and still fails to understand my calm explanation. She easily gets upset when this happens and I find myself repeating to her many times that it is ok and that all is organised and will work out just fine.

I know she just hasn’t got the synapses to connect the dots any more as dementia is slowly stealing her mental abilities. I also know that giving her an answer calmly with love is important, despite the seeming pointlessness, because she will ask me again in a few minutes. Important, for it gives her a feeling of being heard, loved and respected. I am sure she feels that I care for her as she still treats me like her daughter, even though she gets confused and thinks I am still in Australia, and much younger than in reality, lol, if only… Occasionally she believes me, mostly she puts her ‘stubborn hat’ on and is convinced I am telling her fibs. Reality does not make the same sense to her as it used to.

The way I mentally deal with the current situation is reminding myself of the old quote a Buddhist monk told me, that if I CAN do something about it there is no need to worry and if I CANNOT, why worry? Another one that helps me mentally is from Wayne Dyer, that it is NOT the situation or circumstances that stress people out, but the thoughts created about it. I take one step at a time and file my upcoming responsibilities in my phone, which gives me a beep when something pops up that needs attention.

The one thing that still cheers her up and takes her away from her worries and suspicions that everyone is out to deceive her is Nature. She really calms down and comes home a different person. I am so glad about this, as it is so good to see her marvel at it’s beauty too when we go for an afternoon stroll in the nearby forests on the milder days. It is ‘nature therapy’ for both of us! We stop and look at the many mushrooms showing themselves and we walk the leaf covered paths surrounded by old deciduous trees in beautiful Autumn colours. Something I have not seen much of in the last 15 years when I have always visited around her birthday in Spring.

Autumn Trees

We pick up a few treasures to take home and arrange in a shallow pottery dish on the table, acorns, pine cones, a few leaves and a tiny feather she found with the most vibrant blues. I take photo’s of the mushrooms, better left in peace where they are. Besides, my knowledge of them is insufficient to know which ones are safe to pick, let alone any names.

She still walks unaided and really well for her 87 years, but I am carefully monitoring her gait to see whether we should keep going, or returning to the car soon. Surprisingly she generally knows her way around quite well, despite being bad in many other ways. It is a blessing now that she moved back to the area where she grew up when dad was still with us, because she retained a lot of her older memories so far.

Mushroom coming up among Autumn leaves

I am always fascinated with these little surprises of nature, here one day, gone the next. Perhaps it is the shortening days and decay all around that makes me feel melancholic. For a moment I think about the issues at hand and cannot help but see the fleetingness of all we take for granted. A hint to make the most of, and be grateful for each day we are blessed to experience.

Mushroom covered tree trunk, found off the beaten track

Spotted these red and white ones only on passing a second time, surprisingly, as they are quite striking

I ponder about memories, which are not much different. As we walk along our lives we collect and grow them, we treasure and share them, but when decay sets in with old age, they are like the falling leaves of Autumn, we drop them slowly one by one on still days, or many at once when a storm hits….

I am so GLAD that my own ‘tree’ still has many leaves that, for now, are securely attached.

Leaf covered road

Feel free to comment 😉

With Gratitude,

PollyEsther

Happy Pollyesther

Much more than spinning yarns, blogging about the amazing power of gratitude while seeing life from my current perspective

Garden Adventures

Counting Blessings

My body, my temple, where Wholeness dwells.

Why do odd things seem normal?

The Secret Ingredient

The End of the World as we know it…

Lucky Feather

Gratitude flowing over

Am I going mad?

Autumn Leaves are falling down