Autumn Leaves are falling down

Autumn Sunrise with low fog
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My alarm goes off around 7.30 am, regardless of what day it is at the moment. I know mum does not get up for at least another hour, so this is MY time, time to reflect and time to enjoy the splendour of nature at my own pace.

 

It has been a hectic, sometimes stressful and confusing year for me so far. Hence why you have not seen much action here either. After a fairly uneventful Summer I travelled from Australia, into Spring in the Netherlands mid March, where my cousin was waiting for me to help her get organised, in case a bad situation would eventuate with my elderly mum, to be prepared for everything. We found a fitting nursing home with a large garden and arranged as much as I could fit in the 4 weeks I stayed, like meal deliveries, meetings with care staff, doctors etc., to keep her living independently as long as possible, along with spending time with mum as well.

Upon returning home in Australia late April I got a phone call the next day, still groggy from jet lag, after which I found myself working an extra 5 nights a week, while trying to catch up in my garden at home and get that ready for my absence during Winter and work in the nursery part time! Well, no rest over Winter either, with record snowfalls, more lodge guests than ever, and keeping my promise from last year to my manager then, of attending more ski training this season! I had to leave a week before closing of the lifts, to fly back to the Netherlands for mum, who had deteriorated badly over their unusually hot Summer.

So here I am, finding myself utterly confused after Summer followed by Spring, followed by Winter and now in Autumn, but thankfully healthy and well. Something I unfortunately cannot say about my mum, who is physically doing very well, but mentally in need of full time support.

 

I swiftly throw on my ‘trackies’, hoodie and sneakers, over my pyjamas to keep the chill of the early morning out and quietly sneak out of the door. I am so glad mum chose to live at the edge of a small town in the Netherlands, from where it only takes me a few minutes to walk the street that brings me to the paddocks showing the Sunrise in full glory. I savour the wide open space, still in peace and quiet this early in the morning, especially during the weekends when work traffic is absent.

When I walk I focus on my surrounds, nature waking up along with myself and my body. It is easy to get sidetracked during the day and fall into bad habits in regards to posture, but during the stillness of the morning it is easier to focus on walking with a straighter back and shoulders relaxed in the right spot, arms swinging loosely in harmony with my stride. It feels so good to take a deep breath full of life’s most important energy that somehow feels more rejuvenating at this hour than the rest of the day.

 

I take many deep breaths during the day as well, but most are for the purpose of keeping my sanity and composure while mum asks me the same question for the 30th time in an hour and still fails to understand my calm explanation. She easily gets upset when this happens and I find myself repeating to her many times that it is ok and that all is organised and will work out just fine.

I know she just hasn’t got the synapses to connect the dots any more as dementia is slowly stealing her mental abilities. I also know that giving her an answer calmly with love is important, despite the seeming pointlessness, because she will ask me again in a few minutes. Important, for it gives her a feeling of being heard, loved and respected. I am sure she feels that I care for her as she still treats me like her daughter, even though she gets confused and thinks I am still in Australia, and much younger than in reality, lol, if only… Occasionally she believes me, mostly she puts her ‘stubborn hat’ on and is convinced I am telling her fibs. Reality does not make the same sense to her as it used to.

The way I mentally deal with the current situation is reminding myself of the old quote a Buddhist monk told me, that if I CAN do something about it there is no need to worry and if I CANNOT, why worry? Another one that helps me mentally is from Wayne Dyer, that it is NOT the situation or circumstances that stress people out, but the thoughts created about it. I take one step at a time and file my upcoming responsibilities in my phone, which gives me a beep when something pops up that needs attention.

 

The one thing that still cheers her up and takes her away from her worries and suspicions that everyone is out to deceive her is Nature. She really calms down and comes home a different person. I am so glad about this, as it is so good to see her marvel at it’s beauty too when we go for an afternoon stroll in the nearby forests on the milder days. It is ‘nature therapy’ for both of us! We stop and look at the many mushrooms showing themselves and we walk the leaf covered paths surrounded by old deciduous trees in beautiful Autumn colours. Something I have not seen much of in the last 15 years when I have always visited around her birthday in Spring.

Autumn Trees

Autumn Trees

We pick up a few treasures to take home and arrange in a shallow pottery dish on the table, acorns, pine cones, a few leaves and a tiny feather she found with the most vibrant blues. I take photo’s of the mushrooms, better left in peace where they are. Besides, my knowledge of them is insufficient to know which ones are safe to pick, let alone any names.

She still walks unaided and really well for her 87 years, but I am carefully monitoring her gait to see whether we should keep going, or returning to the car soon. Surprisingly she generally knows her way around quite well, despite being bad in many other ways. It is a blessing now that she moved back to the area where she grew up when dad was still with us, because she retained a lot of her older memories so far.

Mushroom coming up among Autumn leaves

Mushroom coming up among Autumn leaves

I am always fascinated with these little surprises of nature, here one day, gone the next. Perhaps it is the shortening days and decay all around that makes me feel melancholic. For a moment I think about the issues at hand and cannot help but see the fleetingness of all we take for granted. A hint to make the most of, and be grateful for each day we are blessed to experience.

Mushroom covered tree trunk

Mushroom covered tree trunk, found off the beaten track

Red and white mushrooms

Spotted these red and white ones only on passing a second time, surprisingly, as they are quite striking

I ponder about memories, which are not much different. As we walk along our lives we collect and grow them, we treasure and share them, but when decay sets in with old age, they are like the falling leaves of Autumn, we drop them slowly one by one on still days, or many at once when a storm hits….

I am so GLAD that my own ‘tree’ still has many leaves that, for now, are securely attached.

Leaf covered road

Leaf covered road

Feel free to comment ūüėČ

With Gratitude,

PollyEsther

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All I had to do was “ask”

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Driving to work this morning, while sipping my regular strong black ‘coffee with 2’ from my travel plunger mug, I was thinking I really need to get going again and write another post. About what? It seems that keeping busy with work and other projects had stolen my inspiration! I could not think of anything that had happened to me lately worthy of sharing for the purpose of making my readers happier.

Well, I did write, a course. “How to get happy and healthy”, https://www.coursecraft.net/courses/z9QvH/splash, but don’t think my blog audience would like to read about me advertising that here. I am in the process of setting up a separate page for that, but it is taking me longer than I thought to make it happen. There are still some minor details to be improved to the looks of the course, like the picture of me acting like a Galah in Spring snow and ski boots.¬†It is taking me¬†a bit of time to get the hang of my¬†just acquired¬†graphic design program being totally new to that sort of thing. The important part, the content,¬†is all good to go, so why not tell everyone?

Just in case anyone reading this is feeling a bit down lately and would be interested in enrolling, enter the special coupon code “Esther” and you will receive a 50% discount, just¬†for reading my blog ūüôā

Ok, I’m getting sidetracked here. It was a beautiful still morning with a blue, albeit a little hazy sky just after sunrise with a forecast temperature of a pleasant 26 degrees Celcius. The drive to work was smooth with only a bit of slow traffic at a merge of freeway’s where the sun was straight in your face making it difficult to see the road. Because car sun visor’s are designed for taller people, I wear my cap to be able to have a clear enough vision of what is happening in those situations.

It was promising to be a beautiful day and I was assigned the task of moving and weeding all stock from one of the shade houses in the whole sale nursery to another area. The light changes a lot very quickly at this time of the year when the shadows are getting longer heading towards Winter in Australia. It was nice¬†to be working outside again for a change as lately I had been doing a lot of¬†fun jobs in the potting shed. Pushing the heavily laden trolley around¬†and squatting to pick up the pots and weeds is great exercise for my legs to get strong for the snow¬†season, so I don’t mind at all being paid for getting fit in a beautiful environment!

The downside of wearing a cap is that sometimes obstacles are not seen before feeling the impact with the head and after nearly loading up a full trolley I hit a hose. Thankfully this was not as painful as the metal protrusion that gave me a bruise there last week. The hose however was part of a retired overhead watering system and sagging badly off its wire, in need of a cable tie or two. It was really in my way there and I scanned the gravel to see if I could find a bit of metal wire maybe, that is often discarded by technicians around the nursery. No luck though, so I carefully hooked it as best possible a bit higher up.

Within five minutes of keeping at weeding and loading my trolley, I heard the familiar sound of my boot hitting a bit of…metal wire in the gravel! It was too thick and short to bend into a small hook to serve the purpose. I laughed at myself for “forgetting to specify” in my earlier thoughts that it had to be bendable and stuck it somewhere out of the way, just in¬†case I found a use for it later. It had not even crossed my mind that I had actually “asked” for it to appear and the finding reminded me of the thought again.

Not long after this incident I heard another bit of metal rattling on the gravel from my boot hitting it. As I looked down I found a perfect piece of fencing wire that did the job beautifully! It reminded me of the beach walk I wrote about in the story about the wind chime in my book, where nature just kept providing me with whatever I was thinking of next I needed to make this wind chime!

Morning tea time came and one of the other ladies remarked about my vibe, asking why I seemed so chirpy. I told her I felt so good, because I just found the inspiration for another blog story!

That was of course not the only reason, for the event also reminded me of the fact that we are always supported and all we have to do is “ask”. I have seen so much proof in my life now that¬†thoughts¬†become reality and it still catches me by surprise all the time. I love and am so glad about¬†those small¬†positive surprises!

All this from a simple bit of discarded fencing wire ūüėČ

Next time you don’t hear from me here for a while, please message and remind¬†me to read this post again!

With gratitude,

PollyEsther

 

 

Judgment and Revenge

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These words have been on my mind for a while now.

Judgment seems to be the main motivator behind a lot of articles in magazines and papers, on television shows and social media, where the lives of the famous and wannabe famous are in the picture to be judged good or bad, with the latter most prominent…
Revenge seems to be a common thread through most movies where the hero has to seek revenge in order to get justice…

Do you ever feel like repaying someone a negative “favor”?

A good internal question to ask is: What benefit can be gained from this?
When I truly look inside, the answer I find is “none whatsoever”!

Recently I found out that a few neighbors had some issues with a new family that moved in not long ago,¬†a single mum with¬†several kids and pets. I was unaware of this for some time¬†and have so far only had good interactions with them, besides having to ask them to keep their cats indoors at night.¬†They were posing a nuisance keeping me up all night by upsetting¬†my dog as well as¬†leaving some not so nice surprises in my garden, but then again, it could have been someone else’s cat too… This problem settled and all neighbors¬†appear to oblige to my friendly request now.

The kids were curious about the plants on my veranda, that are for sale. I gave the young girls a little cactus each from my stock plants out the back (with soft furry needles, not the nasty prickly variety) to treasure at home.

Every time they saw me down the street I got a big smile and a few friendly words from them. A few days later they knocked on my door with hand drawn “postcards”, filled with lovely messages. After that I decided to give their mum a bag of lemons from my tree as I had to many to¬†use for myself. I knew she had health problems after we talked and got to know each other a little on a walk back from the local shops¬†some time ago. I knew it would do her good. Another few days later one of the girls knocked on my door with a cupcake that she had made herself! .

How can it be that my experiences with this family were all so sweet and lovely, while my other friendly neighbors had the total opposite happen?

I guess as a result from earlier experiences with this family, that my other normally friendly neighbors had experienced, was at least an annoyed feeling towards them. When dealing with people our emotions play an important part in nonverbal communication. Most people do not take conscious notion of this, but it is just as, if not more, important than words. It shines through in our facial expressions and body language. Along with habitual judgment about this family, while not really knowing a lot about them besides what was observed, comes a vibration of expecting the worst from them.

Especially children are very sensitive to vibration. Had they decided to take revenge for whatever they felt wronged by through vandalism? Have these young children already been corrupted by the brainwashing effects of movies and tv, that revenge is a desirable action that makes you feel better? Had they witnessed bad behavior in the family, before it broke up, and accepted this as normal? Is there something else playing out as well that goes both ways?

There is a saying going around the social media these days that loosely goes as follows:

“Whether you believe something to be true or not, either way you are right”

This hints at “Ask and it is given”,¬†also mentioned in¬†the bible, which is in my opinion telling us about our mental and emotional influence on our experiences. (Why and how I have become convinced of this is described in detail in my book)
The thoughts and feelings, of in this case annoyance and suspicion, which are the conductors of the “ask” , do not support good odds for “being given” a lovely experience or encounter and neither are judgment or revenge!

Maybe it is important to discern more and judge less?
Ask yourself the question regularly: “What benefit can be gained from this?”
Most of all, when did revenge ever have something good come out of it? Do not ever seek revenge!

‚ÄúJudgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.‚ÄĚ
‚Äē Wayne W. Dyer

I am glad about my life’s experiences, for they give me inspiration to share what I feel passionate about!

Please¬†share your thoughts in the comments below ūüėČ

Request

Looking @ Life
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Dear reader and follower,

My shortest blog post of all:

I have a late notice request for all my followers.

You have probably wondered why it has been so quiet on my blog lately?

Well… I have been finalizing my book!

Yes that is right, it is on Amazon right now for you to preview, and in desperate need of some reviews before the big launch on November 19 and 20.

I hope some of you can help me out and purchase a $0.99 copy of my very first edition of “Looking @ Life”, read a few chapters and leave a comment in the next 12 hours or so. Thanks and enjoy the read!

You can find it here:  http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0184CLSOW

Forever grateful,
Pollyesther

How I had fun hanging out the washing today

Fun washing
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Last night I felt a bit down for about half an hour due to late nights, early mornings and hard work in between¬†and thought to myself better to practice what I “preach” today. I was hanging out the washing in a bit of an improved mood already, because I had a better night sleep¬†and it simply was a gorgeous day to be out there with the sun shining happily upon our back yard and a stiff sea breeze keeping things very pleasant.

That does not include hanging out the washing on a hoist! I was struggling to put the pegs in the right spot while hanging onto the lines for dear life in an attempt to keep it still for long enough to accomplish that. The large towels I put up from the load before were catching a lot of wind and made the hoist turn like a chairoplane! That was it! I had enough!

I gave up my resistance and decided to go with the flow and use my Glad Game. I stopped for a brief moment and looked around the garden, said thanks for the beautiful day, looked in appreciation at all the beautiful flowers beaming smiles at me and proposed a little game in my mind. If thoughts really create reality, prove this to me again and stop the wind for long enough to peg down my next item in a perfect spot for it.

Next I grabbed a piece of clothing¬†and stepped back from the laundry basket. I looked up and to my amazement found a perfect empty spot of line and sufficient time to do the pegging in comfort! I giggled to myself saying: ” yea right, that was just a coincidence!” I tried again, same thing, grab the first item on top, step back, looked up and found another moment like the one before! Now I was giggling even louder! Ok, This is a really fun game! It kept going till the basket was empty!

Not only did I get my task done in no time, I also had a ball doing it! The feeling of lightheartedness stayed with me until now! I am normally not a fan of chores, but they need to be taken care of and you may as well have fun, go with the flow and see what happens playing the Glad Game while you are at it! Where can you use the Glad Game? Feel free to share in the comments below.

The hidden powers of the ‚ÄúGlad Game‚ÄĚ

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I am so glad to have started this blog a few weeks back, because it allows me the opportunity of uplifting you. I like to follow the famous quote of ‚Äúbeing the change I wish to see in the world‚ÄĚ. I had this idea in my mind that by keeping my writing simple and entertaining I could show you, my readers, what I have learned to apply over my 20+ years of searching. My wish for you is, that you yourselves can also learn to apply it, in order to change your own worlds to your liking.

By doing this in an inclusive way, without making it sound like anything too religious, spiritual or scientific, I hope to appeal to a large audience. I do think I have accomplished some of that so far, considering the feedback I have received. I thank all that have left comments on my blog and especially the ones that decided on receiving my stories in their emails and clicked subscribe ;). This keeps me motivated to share more of my insights.

Despite all the good news, I have this niggling feeling that most of my audience does not fully grasp what I am aiming for and does not read between the lines to see the real power of this ‚Äúgame‚ÄĚ I am playing here. The reason why I have decided to do something a little different in this post and try and clear that up a bit more, is that I want you to understand the amazing benefits for yourself and the rest of the world and see things from a real different perspective!

So how did I come to the conclusion that the ‚ÄúGlad Game‚ÄĚ can have this kind of impact? (more about this in: https://happypollyesther.com/2014/05/13/introduction-to-happy-pollyesther/) Can something this simple really change your world, our world? I have observed my memories from before my discovery and became fully convinced by what I saw there, that thoughts, accompanied by feelings, really create (sometimes via an unexpected path) the result of reality. Once I came to this realisation, by seeing the proof in my own life, I started thinking about this a lot, what the consequences could be if everyone knew about this, and the results we are seeing because not enough people are aware of it! What is important to know, is that it always works whether you are aware of this or not! I looked at the world and realized all of a sudden that there are so many good willing people out there doing the opposite to what they should be to achieve their desired results!

I see a lot of Face Book posts asking for attention to some problem or other and feel sad looking at animal abuse, bullying, illness and human rights issues, just to name a few categories. I am drawn to these causes and want to know the truth of what is really going on in the world behind the news and who’s really in charge. I watched Zeitgeist, the Freedom movie and many more like that. They shocked me into opening my eyes to a lot of different agendas and possibilities we generally don’t see on the evening news or in the paper. I started doubting what information to trust and believe. Some were good enough to conclude with some possible solution or hope for the future, but most of it makes you feel pretty small and powerless overall. I felt angry that our so called ‚Äúchosen‚ÄĚ and self appointed authorities appear to do as they please and act without apparantly taking any notice of what the population they represent really want. This kind of thinking places the responsibility elsewhere besides ourselves which is counter productive to a positive change on any level, be it personal or global.

The good thing that came from educating myself in this way, was that it created the burning internal question of ‚Äúwhat can an ordinary citizen do to change all this injustice?‚ÄĚ As you may have seen in my previous post, about overcoming my health issues (https://happypollyesther.com/2014/05/26/how-my-illness-made-me-healthier-than-ever/), the passionate internal questions have a tendency to get answered by the right information showing up in time. This came for me when I found out about the power of our thoughts and feelings on creating our reality. I started to see the pattern why all this misery is not declining! Through all the exposure to our problems, coming from multiple media, we focus more on them and as a result we actually are contributing to them! When we feel powerless we maintain our focus on the problems and how they impact us on a personal level, leaving us in an angry, upset state. This state is a great conductor for more problems and confusion! If we wish to free ourselves from the issues, we have to focus on creating the right mindset for solutions first, starting by changing ourselves. Like the quote by Albert Einstein:

‚ÄúA problem never gets solved from the same level of thinking that created it in the first place‚ÄĚ.

This is where the ‚ÄúGlad Game‚ÄĚ, or GG for short, comes in (just in case you missed this link earlier, more about the GG in: https://happypollyesther.com/2014/05/13/introduction-to-happy-pollyesther/). The GG creates a mindset of gratitude and happiness, which is an excellent conductor for solutions. Not only that, it will also create the right chemicals in our bodies that are beneficial for health and brain functioning! We start to feel stronger, more vibrant and creative. We become more productive and likely to take responsibility for our decisions . This is a place where solutions to problems are born! Another important thing to realize is that mindsets are contagious! If we can uplift others by being a living example of this positive mindset, we are already making a small impact on our predicament by setting off a chain reaction that can lead to actual results on a global scale.

Life responds to you

This understanding is what made me so passionate about starting this blog. To show to everyone that by small personal changes in mindset we can be so much more powerful than we realize. To give the power back to the people. We can all learn to direct our thoughts away from fear and hopelessness to happiness, hope and solutions for a better future with this simple GG. By just doing this, we are taking the first steps to actually creating this future now, for our own personal and the worlds benefit! Please share your thoughts on this post in the comments below.