Garden Adventures

It was a beautiful Spring like August day. The days are growing longer again and the Sun feels more radiant than even a couple of weeks ago. I was enjoying a weeding project when all of a sudden I came upon a more tough and dry clay like patch of lighter earth. As I prodded around to loosen the roots with the little rake, I noticed movement next to the small wooden post, where I just removed some grass.

I carefully scanned the area after seeing a large bull ant. Thankfully it seemed to be alone. The memory of having been bitten several times by some that had gotten into my fishing waders had never faded, despite the many years that had passed! I kept a close eye out for where it went, so not to hurt or upset it. It was heading up the post on the far side from me. Still, I got a sense it was keeping an eye on me as well. I was careful not to disturb what now looked like potentially a large nest any further and moved away gradually as I kept weeding and glancing at the whereabouts of the ant.

I saw it reached the flat top of the post and found itself a nice perch. Front legs over the edge at first, looking at my every move with careful suspicion.

There was something majestic about her as she observed me from her high throne. It may be a bit strange, but I felt like I owed her an apology for disturbing the soil in which she had made her home. I promised to take care and not upset her further, now I was aware of her presence. She seemed to relax a bit and I got the sense that she stayed up there out of mutual respect, to not get in my way. I do not think she was afraid, looking at her ‘royal like’ body language, just cautious not to get in harms way.

And just like that, I felt like writing again to share my mundane adventure that left a strong impression on me today. I am so glad I have learned to be at ease with perceived dangers in nature. When fully present in the moment they become more like magical encounters than a threat!

Counting Blessings

As I was driving to the other hardware store that did stock the item I was after, a small stone hit my windscreen a few weeks back. I could see the tiny mark and that it had not done too much damage thankfully. Two weeks later it was a lot warmer and I drove home tired and dehydrated after a long day of hard work in the plant nursery, grateful for the air conditioning in my car. The Sun hit the tiny chip as l drove along the freeway home, making it glisten in a concerning way. It looked as if the small chip had some tiny cracks coming off it on both sides, perhaps triggered by the temperature differences between the outside air and the air conditioned inside air, which spurred me into action to ring the trusted company that I had used before to prevent chips turning into massive cracks. The guy came out the next day. He peeled the protective sticker off that I had stuck on immediately upon returning home before calling them, to find that I must have put it in the wrong spot. His scrutinous eye could not find the small cracks that had worried me so much the day before! He put a little filler in a small spot that looked like it may have been the impact site of a couple of weeks ago as well as topping up an old, much more serious chip they had fixed about a decade ago which was crumbling a little now. “How much do I owe you for this?” I asked, expecting to at least have to pay for a call out fee. His response: “Don’t worry about it” took me by surprise and I quickly dashed to my fridge to see if I had some after work beers for him to at least show him my thanks for the trouble.

My computer was having issues with the latest update and failing to install it despite me trying several times over a couple of weeks. Besides that, I was concerned about the fact that I had not made any backups on the external hard drive since the last time a tech expert helped me speed it up more than a year ago. As it is getting on a bit and you never know when the hard drive in an older laptop will give up and die, I felt an urgency to get that done again too, but with my limited understanding I was too scared to add more to the hard drive that was the only backup of all my pictures that had been slowing my computer down. I was worried the new backup would delete the older one containing all my pictures! So I asked the trusted expert to come back for a house call to sort both issues. He spend at least 20 minutes fixing and explaining. When I asked how much he wanted to be paid for this service, the answer again was: “Don’t worry about it!” and he rushed out the door to get back to his other contract work that was waiting for him in the afternoon.

It was only a few days later that I went to the shops on a Saturday morning just before lunch. Driving along with my windows down to cool the car from standing in the hot Sun, I felt and heard that something had attached itself onto my car tire. when I parked at the shops I found a roofing screw clearly visible and I knew it would only be a matter of time, before the tire starts to deflate. I rang the mechanics that always look after my car, but they had already closed for the day. I rang a couple more places specializing in tire repairs, but being a long weekend none answered my plight. I carefully proceeded to drive to the all the different shops I had planned to visit and made it home safely. I parked it on the lawn to enable us to use the other car that was in the drive, normally parked behind mine.
After the long weekend had finished I rang my mechanic again to find they had no one available that day to fix it and that I was better off going to another place nearby. They were not busy and could help me straight away. The repairer pulled the screw out and smiled. It was a short one and had not punctured the tire fully! As he had spend time putting the car on his bridge to pull it out, I asked: “how much”?
Again the answer was: “Don’t worry about it”….

What is going on? Three times lucky? I don’t know, but I certainly am counting my blessings and they seem to keep on coming in current times!

It may be my changed attitude to trusting things will work out and knowing I am looked after by higher forces that guide me on the right path of helping people. I know for sure that the calmer I feel and the more gratitude I generate, the more evidence I see of this support. Not only that, the more evidence I see, the more grateful I feel as a result!

My mum turned 90 in March this year, after having been on the brink of death several times since she moved into the nursing home, first after a fall, and again last November when she was diagnosed with the dreaded C-word that stopped the world in 2020. She made it through with a sniffle and fatique and recovered. The nurses have started calling her the miracle lady! She has outlived all the original residents that she moved in with when she arrived there in January 2019, despite her frailty!

The nursing home is in Europe and I had been visiting twice a year from Australia since her admission. Of course travel has stopped and I am unable to visit currently, so I feel so grateful things have gone the way they have, especially in regards to timing…
Imagine I would have had to deal with her admission in the past year? She could not have coped another year at home with her dementia… How could l have helped her move and bring her those extra jamies and other things she needed and forgot? I am so grateful she was well settled in by 2020 and having seen how the nursing staff deals with their residents, I have full trust that she is in the best place she could be, close to her friends and familiar surrounds.

Have you experienced more blessings as a result of gratitude too?

Please share in the comments!

Feel free to share the link😉

The End of the World as we know it…

About a month ago I was at the Dentist for a checkup and annual clean of my teeth. Since it had been some time since an x-ray was done, I followed the dentist’s advice and allowed her to do one. Unfortunately my financial situation is such that I have to make choices as to what to spend my money on and when, so when she suggested to treat a cavity that showed up on the x-ray sooner rather than later, I decided to do it later. The reason was that I had just started my new business of conducting Wim Hof Method workshops as a newly qualified Instructor and expected to make a little extra money on top of my meagre part time casual Nursery job very soon. I felt on top of the world, for finally, after 5 years of living on the edge of poverty without my husbands income and getting by with insufficient funds from the Government, I saw a ray of Sunshine brightening up our future.

I organised one workshop in February and planned on doing at least 3 through March, making it a regular highlight in the local Sports and Recreation Centre as more people started to find out about it. The signs were hopeful as I saw my second workshop selling a lot faster and to more people than my first, that just broke even or maybe lost a little, with only two people present. I was still happy despite that, for one participant left a lovely review, which showed my capacity and care helping convince future potential participants to give it a go too. I am still waiting to see what the return will be as I am currently still awaiting my reimbursement from the ‘Hoffice’, as we call the Wim Hof Method headquarters in the Netherlands.

Needless to explain, as of last week I had to cancel all future plans for live workshops indefinitely and a feeling of powerlessness started to overshadow my life. The cavity was still on my mind though and as the Government put restrictions in place I decided to take the chance and pay for fixing it from a loan, trusting that eventually things will go back to normal and I will resume my workshops to catch up and pay it back. It took me a few days to make up my mind and weigh up the risks versus the benefits with an uncertain future ahead of us, but the thought of the cavity escalating into a more serious dilemma, made me go ahead and ring the dentist on Wednesday for an appointment. The assistant agreed that I could come in Thursday afternoon after work.

At the end of my working day, to be on the cautious side, I washed my hands and sprayed myself all over with disinfectant before jumping in the car. I did not know whether I had been in contact with the virus, for the long incubation times reported and lack of present symptoms in many that had already transmitted it as this pandemic started to take hold on the world. I certainly did not want to be part of spreading it further to anyone I had to deal with, as well as thinking about my poor husband at home, who already has problems with his lungs and overall health as it is.

The traffic was a lot quieter than usual and the drive home was a smooth one, so l rushed into the nearby shop to grab a few items that I was needing, before going to the dentist. With all the new rules of distancing this is a bit of mission now, waiting for people to move away from the shelf you have your eyes on, before you are able to grab what you are after and it did take longer than usual to get out of the store. I quickly put my shopping in the car and ran to the dentist about 50 meters further down the street.

Thankfully I was not too late and still had to wait for my consultation. I sat down with my hands on my lap, careful not to move or touch anything, especially my face. After a few minutes the assistant came to me with a device to check my temperature, by holding it near my forehead. It felt this warranted during the developments of the last few days, that they check incoming visitors for mild symptoms as a safeguard for their and other patients health. As I felt great and had not socialised with anyone, besides my husband and a small number of colleagues for the past week and a half, this did not worry me, until she said that my temperature was elevated and had to come down, before they would consider treating me! I did point out the fact that menopause was upon me and that I did suffer hot flushes as a side effect on a daily basis, but rules are rules and they were told by the dentist association not to treat anyone with an elevated temperature. Thankfully they were kind enough for me to sit there for some time and check again to see that it was dropping. The dentist agreed to see me, phew!

What was it that I wanted her to do? I refreshed her memory to our agreement about a month ago, to treat that deeper cavity that had shown on the x-rays and she pulled out the files to see. Next she returns to me apologising that she was now unable to help me under the level 2 restrictions, for it required drilling and that this was now prohibited, unless there was severe discomfort for the patient, for the reason that this activity releases small particles into the air and could contribute in spreading the virus! I calmly accepted her explanation and she offered to put me on a waiting list to contact as soon as these restrictions are lifted.

I walked out of there with a heavy heart and serious concern for our future lives and freedom. This is when it sank in, that no matter how well we get through all this, the world has changed overnight and will never be what it was… https://youtu.be/wa43FNUdpU8

How far is this going to affect the way we are able to access health services, future gatherings, international flights and so much more! This is only the start! I am sure that we will have to adapt to many more restrictions and so called necessary compulsory regulations in the near and far future ahead of us, where discrimination will morph from external differences to more subtle internal ones, opening up the possibilities of a worldwide regime, controlling our every move for the sake of humanities safety!…. A new world where we are forced to have preventative treatments from organisations that hugely benefit from the returns without much true consideration for our opinions and long term health. If we refuse, based on our own opinions and convictions, we will be considered guilty of wrongdoing and putting the rest of the population at risk, with the result being huge discord and separation in society between groups with different viewpoints. Basically forcing everyone to be on the same page in their thinking and opinions! We will highly likely be restricted and refused basic services such as air travel, joining group activities and a choice in healthcare, unless we conform to the ideas of a fear filled manipulated society!

Sorry, this sounds extremely depressing and at this stage I have no idea how far this will be allowed to go and how far our freedom will be restricted from this moment in time, once the immediate danger subsides. All I know and see is that the World will never go back to what it looked like only several weeks ago.

On the flip side, this has also allowed me to contemplate a brighter future for social relationships and bonding through adversity. It pleases me to see total strangers taking action and helping the ones in society that need it most. People finding the courage to open up and share their deepest feelings with others, something they would have not felt at ease with several months ago. We come together through technology and socialise in a new way, apart, yet together to rise above this and produce a positive spark, a little optimism and humour to lift others spirits. Today, more than ever we realise that we are all connected and cannot get through this on our own. I must admit I have shed a few positive emotional tears of hope over the selflessness and actions of many individuals in the past week and can see that there is still hope for humanity to turn this experience into something we rise up from with true selflessness and a better future in mind.

Even in these dark times I can still find gratitude, actually more so than before, as the realisation sinks in that we cannot take anything for granted. We are so blessed with our access to the internet to stay connected and informed. How good does it feel now, to find a few last packets of toilet paper on a supermarket shelf? Or score that last can of baked beans, a thing we could not have imagined only 1 month ago!

Serendipity is still active too as I think how several things in my life have worked out for the better, like for example me not pre-booking that airline ticket as mums health is declining and could take a turn for the worse any day. I decided to leave it till the last minute, so I would not have to pay extra to change the dates, should I be required to go suddenly. Even though my heart hurts badly for the restrictions prohibiting me from my duties to take care of her and return the love she has given to me all my life, I trust she is in the best place with the best care possible right now, and that it will all work out somehow in due time.

For now hold tight, focus on, Be Glad about whatever positive things you can find around you and keep dreaming and focusing on a better future with more personal freedom and a return to harmony with our Mother Earth.

We have so much more power if we keep our focus away from the doom and gloom and use it to construct the World we would love to build for our children. I do feel it is important to be informed of all that is going on and not stick our heads in the sand, but now is the time and the last turnaround point where we have to be strong enough to balance that knowledge with constructive focus, if we want that future for our children to be one where we are in harmony with Mother Earth, the flora, fauna and fellow humans…. or… create a society where creativity and individuality are forced out of us by social, political and technological control.

Choose wisely!

With Thanks and Gratitude,

PollyEsther

Lucky Feather

“Enjoy your walk” said my neighbor from her front yard. I had stopped for a quick chat with her on my usual before dinner dog walk. “Thank you, I always do” I replied.

She did not have time for a long one today as she was standing outside freshly showered after work, ready to leave for her weekly meditation class.

In my head the thoughts did not stop as I walked on towards the corner of our small Court. Walking is a form of meditation for me, breathing fresh air, sometimes with a hint of salt and seaweed blowing in with the cool sea breeze coming off Westernport Bay. Focusing on how it makes my body feel, the sensation of my skin curling itself into goosebumps on my bare arms, now followed by a deep relaxing breath to not resist what is. I love looking around, observing the little marvels of nature scattered through our neighborhood and allowing my body to work on making some essential vitamin D…

Lately something interesting has been occuring every single walk. To most people it may seem extremely trivial, but to me it is like a sign of approval from nature that I am on the right track, reconnecting, and if a dear friend of mine is correct, it may even bring me luck.

As those thoughts were whirling around I stopped myself for a moment and re focused back to the moment and my surrounds. I first looked around and next down… and there it was again, to the left of my foot on the pavement, a perfectly shaped fresh feather. The timing and place could not have been more serendipitous and I could not help wonder if there was something else involved and what it may symbolize. After all I feel like living at a turnaround point of change in my life again, with my first Wim Hof Method workshop last Sunday resulting in a great review on my instructor profile. I took a deep breath, straightened my posture and smiled as I crossed the street and walked on.

Ofcourse I picked it up to take home to my now pretty fast growing collection of feathers.

It brings me joy and gratitude looking at all my ‘exotic’ feathers from local Lorikeets, Galahs, Cockatoos, Magpies, Owls and Kookaburras and who knows what other species I did not reconize. Who would have thought this possible when I was a little girl growing up in the Netherlands all those years ago?

I am so glad I live in a country with such wonderful and colourful birds. Do you bring home treasures you find on your walks too?

With Gratitude,

PollyEsther

Gratitude flowing over

Last Saturday my fears became a reality. A fire front moved into the settlement of Cobungra…..

It was a nightmare day for bushfires. The temperatures reached over 40 degrees Celsius, which I believe is triple digits on the Fahrenheit scale… in many places the fires were already burning for weeks and the hot northerly wind fanned them to extreme proportions. On that day a fire front hit the tiny community of Cobungra….again…

Several homes had only been rebuild 16 years ago after a bushfire came through in 2003. The firefighters were busy in a nearby village back then, and when they realized that the fire had travelled to the tiny settlement as well, they drove down with a truck to check. The truck arrived amidst an inferno that forced them to retreat back into the vehicle. They barely survived the intense heat from multiple fronts that attacked the ridge from 3 sides at once themselves!

At the same time a single bloke named Fred was huddling under wet blankets in the farthest deepest corner of his unfinished house he was building and close to finishing. His dog was dying in the shed where he had locked him in for safety, while he was running around putting out attacking embers. Sadly the fire fronts encroached so fast that he had to run for shelter, to save his own life, unable to rescue his dog. He barely survived due to lack of oxygen and said that meditating was the only thing that kept him alive. His house survived, but he lost so much around it. The experience left him traumatized and he has since always said he would evacuate, should a fire ever come back.

Well…to my surprise he stayed last Saturday to defend Cobungra again!!!

This time however he had help from 2 other neighbors, and use of a firetruck that the shire had stored in a shed in Cobungra because of what had happened in ’03.

The second bloke, Dale, is an amazing individual who is a granddad, Ski patroller in Winter, Jackaroo at Cobungra Station, Wildlife rescuer, a talented base player in a local punk rock band and CFA volunteer firefighter. The community is full of praise over all his selfless actions and volunteer work.

The third bloke, Bart, is also an exceptional guy. Ex pro snowboarder, singer/guitarist of the band, used to work on ships as a chef for years and just started his own small biz in his shed at Cobungra, painting cars, so he can be home more for his beautiful partner Laura. (who is the band’s drummer!) He also build his own house there, and if anything needs fixing, he is always ready to help anyone. On Saturday he lost 2 cars, 2 caravans, a skate ramp and probably more around his own house while saving everyone else’s….

So these 3 guys and 1 firetruck pulled off the impossible last Saturday!!! Saving EVERY house on the ridge!!! This included my second home that I live in during the Snow season while I work for the nearby ski resort of Mount Hotham. They did have a little backup from 4 other guys down the road, that I think would have been busy covering the lower parts of Cobungra. I cannot wait to hear all the stories of what went on when we get together soon. At the moment the area is still unsafe and it is better to wait and see what flares up next, before travelling into the mountains.

My gratitude is SO ENORMOUS and I know that all the other locals feel the same, as we witnessed, most from a safe location, in agony (hotspot map online and fb) the fire engulfing our beloved mountain homes again…. Not knowing if our friends were safe and what exactly was unfolding there was nerve wracking! Let alone what they were facing!

I tried to send good vibes to the area and focused on rain like never before along with many around the globe and it worked! 🙏 They received a welcome drizzle and cool change that night and the following days. A few days to rest up and recover from all the emotions and hard work.

Thursday the weather changed back to the usual Summer conditions again and yesterday another miracle happened! A smouldering log near the boundary of our property and Fred’s nextdoor set the surrounding bush alight. From what l saw in private video footage it looked to be in a location that l know is thickly covered in dogwood, highly flammable undergrowth up to 3m’s in height, common in our area…

I was elated to see a helicopter attacking this flare-up, resulting in successfully averting this danger too. I was also elated about the fact that the CFA (Country Fire Authority) has managed to help the residents of Cobungra in time to stop things from escalating, especially after what they had already been through! A firetruck would have had no access to that area due to dense bushes and steep terrain.

I am endlessly grateful and super Glad that, for now, we still have roofs over our heads up there, in the beautiful mountains of the Victorian High Country, both permanent and part time residents.

*Residents names have been altered for privacy reasons*

Autumn Leaves are falling down

My alarm goes off around 7.30 am, regardless of what day it is at the moment. I know mum does not get up for at least another hour, so this is MY time, time to reflect and time to enjoy the splendour of nature at my own pace.

It has been a hectic, sometimes stressful and confusing year for me so far. Hence why you have not seen much action here either. After a fairly uneventful Summer I travelled from Australia, into Spring in the Netherlands mid March, where my cousin was waiting for me to help her get organised, in case a bad situation would eventuate with my elderly mum, to be prepared for everything. We found a fitting nursing home with a large garden and arranged as much as I could fit in the 4 weeks I stayed, like meal deliveries, meetings with care staff, doctors etc., to keep her living independently as long as possible, along with spending time with mum as well.

Upon returning home in Australia late April I got a phone call the next day, still groggy from jet lag, after which I found myself working an extra 5 nights a week, while trying to catch up in my garden at home and get that ready for my absence during Winter and work in the nursery part time! Well, no rest over Winter either, with record snowfalls, more lodge guests than ever, and keeping my promise from last year to my manager then, of attending more ski training this season! I had to leave a week before closing of the lifts, to fly back to the Netherlands for mum, who had deteriorated badly over their unusually hot Summer.

So here I am, finding myself utterly confused after Summer followed by Spring, followed by Winter and now in Autumn, but thankfully healthy and well. Something I unfortunately cannot say about my mum, who is physically doing very well, but mentally in need of full time support.

I swiftly throw on my ‘trackies’, hoodie and sneakers, over my pyjamas to keep the chill of the early morning out and quietly sneak out of the door. I am so glad mum chose to live at the edge of a small town in the Netherlands, from where it only takes me a few minutes to walk the street that brings me to the paddocks showing the Sunrise in full glory. I savour the wide open space, still in peace and quiet this early in the morning, especially during the weekends when work traffic is absent.

When I walk I focus on my surrounds, nature waking up along with myself and my body. It is easy to get sidetracked during the day and fall into bad habits in regards to posture, but during the stillness of the morning it is easier to focus on walking with a straighter back and shoulders relaxed in the right spot, arms swinging loosely in harmony with my stride. It feels so good to take a deep breath full of life’s most important energy that somehow feels more rejuvenating at this hour than the rest of the day.

I take many deep breaths during the day as well, but most are for the purpose of keeping my sanity and composure while mum asks me the same question for the 30th time in an hour and still fails to understand my calm explanation. She easily gets upset when this happens and I find myself repeating to her many times that it is ok and that all is organised and will work out just fine.

I know she just hasn’t got the synapses to connect the dots any more as dementia is slowly stealing her mental abilities. I also know that giving her an answer calmly with love is important, despite the seeming pointlessness, because she will ask me again in a few minutes. Important, for it gives her a feeling of being heard, loved and respected. I am sure she feels that I care for her as she still treats me like her daughter, even though she gets confused and thinks I am still in Australia, and much younger than in reality, lol, if only… Occasionally she believes me, mostly she puts her ‘stubborn hat’ on and is convinced I am telling her fibs. Reality does not make the same sense to her as it used to.

The way I mentally deal with the current situation is reminding myself of the old quote a Buddhist monk told me, that if I CAN do something about it there is no need to worry and if I CANNOT, why worry? Another one that helps me mentally is from Wayne Dyer, that it is NOT the situation or circumstances that stress people out, but the thoughts created about it. I take one step at a time and file my upcoming responsibilities in my phone, which gives me a beep when something pops up that needs attention.

The one thing that still cheers her up and takes her away from her worries and suspicions that everyone is out to deceive her is Nature. She really calms down and comes home a different person. I am so glad about this, as it is so good to see her marvel at it’s beauty too when we go for an afternoon stroll in the nearby forests on the milder days. It is ‘nature therapy’ for both of us! We stop and look at the many mushrooms showing themselves and we walk the leaf covered paths surrounded by old deciduous trees in beautiful Autumn colours. Something I have not seen much of in the last 15 years when I have always visited around her birthday in Spring.

Autumn Trees

We pick up a few treasures to take home and arrange in a shallow pottery dish on the table, acorns, pine cones, a few leaves and a tiny feather she found with the most vibrant blues. I take photo’s of the mushrooms, better left in peace where they are. Besides, my knowledge of them is insufficient to know which ones are safe to pick, let alone any names.

She still walks unaided and really well for her 87 years, but I am carefully monitoring her gait to see whether we should keep going, or returning to the car soon. Surprisingly she generally knows her way around quite well, despite being bad in many other ways. It is a blessing now that she moved back to the area where she grew up when dad was still with us, because she retained a lot of her older memories so far.

Mushroom coming up among Autumn leaves

I am always fascinated with these little surprises of nature, here one day, gone the next. Perhaps it is the shortening days and decay all around that makes me feel melancholic. For a moment I think about the issues at hand and cannot help but see the fleetingness of all we take for granted. A hint to make the most of, and be grateful for each day we are blessed to experience.

Mushroom covered tree trunk, found off the beaten track

Spotted these red and white ones only on passing a second time, surprisingly, as they are quite striking

I ponder about memories, which are not much different. As we walk along our lives we collect and grow them, we treasure and share them, but when decay sets in with old age, they are like the falling leaves of Autumn, we drop them slowly one by one on still days, or many at once when a storm hits….

I am so GLAD that my own ‘tree’ still has many leaves that, for now, are securely attached.

Leaf covered road

Feel free to comment 😉

With Gratitude,

PollyEsther

What would you do?

A dilemma cropped up and the best answer has so far eluded me. Oh, sorry, I have been so busy that I forgot to fill you in on whats been happening behind the scenes on my laptop!

First, I felt inspired again to write more, but differently this time, with even more passion, hence the flower picture 😉 I like to write about things that bug my mind a lot, important more educational and informational stuff that may also be of help to some others looking for answers to their issues.

Because I felt it was too far off from what this blog is about, my personal experiences with gratitude and everyday ‘magic’, I decided to open my options and start a second blog with possible room to expand. The idea was to create options to get some rewards for all the time l spend looking and researching to get this stuff out for everyone to benefit. Maybe sell a course or link to other sites that might give me some affiliate rewards. Maybe it will never happen, but I want to try as my usual part time casual job is sending me into poverty at the moment and my life is too busy with other priorities, like going overseas again shortly to look after my mum, to be adding another job now.

After a lot of research into Internet marketing style info, it was clear that I needed a ‘list’. After learning a lot more more about different ‘list’ companies, I set up and email list subscription with Aweber and had to pay annually for that.

Next I found out that WordPress.com does not cater for Aweber plugins, so the already set up ‘.com blog’ was useless now. I had to jump over to WordPress.org to create this so called sales funnel. OK…..sigh…
Now before I could do that I had to get a domain name, which was not included in the deal with ‘.org’! After some more study I decided on Bluehost which was recommended by several experts on line, which also costs me an annual fee…

Hang on guys! I am not selling anything here yet! What happened to building a reputation and following first? http://happypollyesther.org

So I dropped my Aweber subscription after a year not signing up a single soul, nor working on my project much besides slowly getting more inspiration. I like being prepared mentally and physically 😉

Now that I have 4 Posts up I am getting second thoughts about my choice of going with WordPress.org and paying my ongoing Bluehost fees…

I cannot get a profile picture up despite already having it linked to my WordPress.com and ‘About Me’ profile. To get my statistics, I had to sign up for ‘Jetpack’, which thankfully did allow me a free trial for now… I cannot work out how to get widgets on the blog or a ‘follow’ button and feel like a total blog noob again.

Why can I not just add a link to the end of each post referring to my Paypal account instead of a button for donations and go back to my originally set up new WordPress.com page?

But then I will lose my perfect domain name for ‘.org’ in case l need it when things do take off…

What would you do? Stay and pay or lose the domain and go back to the comfort of WordPress.com? Perhaps you have some other clever suggestions that could help?

I would really appreciate your thoughts on this!
Thanks!

With Gratitude,
PollyEsther

Happy Thanks Giving!

My heartbeat, breath, pulsing inside.
The dog, laying by my side.
Butterflies fluttering about.
Feeling at peace inside and out.
Nature beaming with life.
A world free of strive.

In perfect harmony the earth,
humming a symphony of worth.
Gracefully dancing with the stars so bright,
even in darkness shines the Light.
Southern Spring heatwave on a continent,
balancing Autumn chills north imminent.

Gratitude in focus today.
Loving life’s full array.
Planting seeds or harvesting needs,
especially other’s gentle deeds.
Not just today we should,
instead the whole year we could!

With Love and gratitude,
Pollyesther

Did I scrape in or not?

That’s it everyone! The poetry contest, opened in October is now closed. However, it is not “done” quite yet Frodo, I still need to announce the winners! I will be tallying up the points all night from such wonderful submissions. I truly have a difficult choice before me. Thank you to everyone who submitted a […]

via Poetry Contest CLOSED — KaylaAnn

I spotted this poetry contest and decided to enter as it was still open and going when l found it. Within minutes I turned my computer on, followed this blog as per prerequisite and went to my own site to copy the link to my poetry piece I wanted to enter, one I had blogged earlier:

https://happypollyesther.com/2017/01/22/the-emerging-butterfly/

Upon returning to the comments, it was closed, but stubborn me tried anyway and left the link. I hope it will be considered…

Even if not, I still wish all that managed to enter in time the best of luck!

I am glad I had one I prepared earlier, haha!

With Gratitude,

Pollyesther xxx

PRECIOUS TIMES

“I can’t find the keys anywhere, how is that possible?” Mum asks me several times a day. Another one is: “Have you closed your window?”, every time we leave the house. The keys are quickly found in the usual spots she puts them down automatically without thinking or registering. The room I am in does not have an opening window at all, but I assure her every time that the window is shut.

Three years ago was the last time I flew to the Netherlands to visit mum, family and friends. It was a busy, fun time with several parties and a primary school reunion, creating many happy memories. At the time she also had her 83rd. birthday. She was a little annoyed that she was struggling to remember all the names of the plants and flowers in her garden, but I guess when you get to that age, you should be happy to still be physically fit enough to be able to enjoy working in your own garden.

Late last year my cousin, who keeps a close eye on mum for me when I am in Australia, which is now home for me, emailed me concerned that I should be thinking about another visit soon, because mum was confusing her, me and her daughters names badly when they looked at some old photos. “If you leave it much longer there may be a chance she will not remember who you are!”, she said…

So here I am, visiting again, making sure not to miss her 86th birthday and making the most of what time we have left together before she loses her memories altogether. My cousin and I are busy talking to her doctor and care staff and making arrangements for her future behind her back. It feels wrong, but what choice do we have? She is convinced that she is fine and does not need any help yet. I guess in some ways I do agree with her, as she is still very alert and swift to respond to the traffic when driving her car on familiar roads. She is still capable of putting in a fair effort maintaining her small and well manicured garden and we both enjoy looking at the birds she feeds every day and squirrels that like to steel some of the birds’ crumbs when no one is looking…

But…at the same time she keeps losing things around the house, convinced that the care staff is stealing from her all the time. She only trusts a very small number of familiar people she knows well, thankfully including me. Others she treats with suspicion, fear and mostly verbal aggression, occasionally raising her fist to emphesize she is serious. The memory lapses come and go with me thinking she is indeed fine at times, but then at night when tired she looks at me and tells me she finds it strange to think that she has a daughter at all… Physically she is doing very well for her age, mentally it is becoming a real concern. She functions ok when she is able to stick to her routines that have become almost compulsive. When it is disturbed she gets very upset and stressed.

There is a lot she does not understand, like why she has trouble with her tummy when she stresses, as she does not remember she has been suffering from Crohn’s disease since before I was born, probably set off by a stressful period in her life not long after she got married due to circumstances out of her control. She also has had other inflammatory issues ever since.

While making my plans and arrangements for my journey to see her I asked an internal question and the answer came in the form of a book called ‘The Grain Brain’ by Dr. David Perlmutter who describes how and why most of her issues could likely be the result of food sensitivities, with the main culprits possibly dairy and gluten. The fact that my own minor inflammatory issues eased after starting on a gluten free diet and cutting out milk convinced me even more that his theories and findings were of value. I decided to ask her doctor for some tests to see what the results would be.

After living with her now for well over a week and observing her obsession with her routines, I sadly have to make peace with the fact that she is too far gone to change… She does not understand it when I have to tell her every night again that I do not eat custard for desert any more. When drinking tea she keeps offering me biscuits and looks puzzled why I only want special gluten free ones and refuse to eat the normal ones she keeps offering. She thinks that I must be very ill not to be able to eat all those ‘healthy’ traditional things and need special bread for lunch, despite my best efforts of explaining why. She does not understand… Every morning she makes the table and places a plate for me to eat my toast that I have not had for breakfast for years. I love my goats milk yoghurt with gluten free cereal and some fresh fruit like a mandarin and/or banana added, along with a black coffee.

She cannot see that I do not need hours any more to wake up every morning and look and feel healthier than when I was in my twenties. She does not remember how badly I suffered from several allergies and was always tired and often sick with every bug that came around, while I was still eating like she does now.

It is difficult listening to the same stories every day and hearing her complain about being tired and her tummy playing up. It is difficult, but I have to be at peace with the facts and make the most of what little time we have left to enjoy our walks in nature and spend time asking all the questions I have not before that I would still like to know before she does not remember the answers.

It makes me sad to see her like this and knowing that with a few changes and additions to her diet she could possibly be free from all her old health issues as well as slow, stop or even improve her declining memory, but you cannot force her to eat things she is convinced would make her feel sick in her stomach.

I am glad however that she still remembers to place an extra plate for me even though I really need a bowl. I am glad that we are able to enjoy those little things now I am here with her, like walking in nature, playing indoor lawnbowls, cleaning the autumn leaves from her garden together, watching the nesting birds around her home and the squirrels stealing the birds bread crumbs…

P.S.
I am sorry my dear Dutch friends, that this time around I will not take time to party with you, nor run around to visit everyone I have not seen for three years. Maybe we can arrange a meeting on a Sunday afternoon somewhere in a pub for a few hours, later during my stay, where everyone that wishes can come to say g’day before I head back to my duties and work in Australia. For now I intend to make the most of my time with mum. I hope that after reading my story you will understand…

With Gratitude, PollyEsther

Happy Pollyesther

Much more than spinning yarns, blogging about the amazing power of gratitude while seeing life from my current perspective

appreciation

Garden Adventures

Counting Blessings

The End of the World as we know it…

Lucky Feather

Gratitude flowing over

Autumn Leaves are falling down

What would you do?

Happy Thanks Giving!

Did I scrape in or not?

PRECIOUS TIMES