The End of the World as we know it…

About a month ago I was at the Dentist for a checkup and annual clean of my teeth. Since it had been some time since an x-ray was done, I followed the dentist’s advice and allowed her to do one. Unfortunately my financial situation is such that I have to make choices as to what to spend my money on and when, so when she suggested to treat a cavity that showed up on the x-ray sooner rather than later, I decided to do it later. The reason was that I had just started my new business of conducting Wim Hof Method workshops as a newly qualified Instructor and expected to make a little extra money on top of my meagre part time casual Nursery job very soon. I felt on top of the world, for finally, after 5 years of living on the edge of poverty without my husbands income and getting by with insufficient funds from the Government, I saw a ray of Sunshine brightening up our future.

I organised one workshop in February and planned on doing at least 3 through March, making it a regular highlight in the local Sports and Recreation Centre as more people started to find out about it. The signs were hopeful as I saw my second workshop selling a lot faster and to more people than my first, that just broke even or maybe lost a little, with only two people present. I was still happy despite that, for one participant left a lovely review, which showed my capacity and care helping convince future potential participants to give it a go too. I am still waiting to see what the return will be as I am currently still awaiting my reimbursement from the ‘Hoffice’, as we call the Wim Hof Method headquarters in the Netherlands.

Needless to explain, as of last week I had to cancel all future plans for live workshops indefinitely and a feeling of powerlessness started to overshadow my life. The cavity was still on my mind though and as the Government put restrictions in place I decided to take the chance and pay for fixing it from a loan, trusting that eventually things will go back to normal and I will resume my workshops to catch up and pay it back. It took me a few days to make up my mind and weigh up the risks versus the benefits with an uncertain future ahead of us, but the thought of the cavity escalating into a more serious dilemma, made me go ahead and ring the dentist on Wednesday for an appointment. The assistant agreed that I could come in Thursday afternoon after work.

At the end of my working day, to be on the cautious side, I washed my hands and sprayed myself all over with disinfectant before jumping in the car. I did not know whether I had been in contact with the virus, for the long incubation times reported and lack of present symptoms in many that had already transmitted it as this pandemic started to take hold on the world. I certainly did not want to be part of spreading it further to anyone I had to deal with, as well as thinking about my poor husband at home, who already has problems with his lungs and overall health as it is.

The traffic was a lot quieter than usual and the drive home was a smooth one, so l rushed into the nearby shop to grab a few items that I was needing, before going to the dentist. With all the new rules of distancing this is a bit of mission now, waiting for people to move away from the shelf you have your eyes on, before you are able to grab what you are after and it did take longer than usual to get out of the store. I quickly put my shopping in the car and ran to the dentist about 50 meters further down the street.

Thankfully I was not too late and still had to wait for my consultation. I sat down with my hands on my lap, careful not to move or touch anything, especially my face. After a few minutes the assistant came to me with a device to check my temperature, by holding it near my forehead. It felt this warranted during the developments of the last few days, that they check incoming visitors for mild symptoms as a safeguard for their and other patients health. As I felt great and had not socialised with anyone, besides my husband and a small number of colleagues for the past week and a half, this did not worry me, until she said that my temperature was elevated and had to come down, before they would consider treating me! I did point out the fact that menopause was upon me and that I did suffer hot flushes as a side effect on a daily basis, but rules are rules and they were told by the dentist association not to treat anyone with an elevated temperature. Thankfully they were kind enough for me to sit there for some time and check again to see that it was dropping. The dentist agreed to see me, phew!

What was it that I wanted her to do? I refreshed her memory to our agreement about a month ago, to treat that deeper cavity that had shown on the x-rays and she pulled out the files to see. Next she returns to me apologising that she was now unable to help me under the level 2 restrictions, for it required drilling and that this was now prohibited, unless there was severe discomfort for the patient, for the reason that this activity releases small particles into the air and could contribute in spreading the virus! I calmly accepted her explanation and she offered to put me on a waiting list to contact as soon as these restrictions are lifted.

I walked out of there with a heavy heart and serious concern for our future lives and freedom. This is when it sank in, that no matter how well we get through all this, the world has changed overnight and will never be what it was… https://youtu.be/wa43FNUdpU8

How far is this going to affect the way we are able to access health services, future gatherings, international flights and so much more! This is only the start! I am sure that we will have to adapt to many more restrictions and so called necessary compulsory regulations in the near and far future ahead of us, where discrimination will morph from external differences to more subtle internal ones, opening up the possibilities of a worldwide regime, controlling our every move for the sake of humanities safety!…. A new world where we are forced to have preventative treatments from organisations that hugely benefit from the returns without much true consideration for our opinions and long term health. If we refuse, based on our own opinions and convictions, we will be considered guilty of wrongdoing and putting the rest of the population at risk, with the result being huge discord and separation in society between groups with different viewpoints. Basically forcing everyone to be on the same page in their thinking and opinions! We will highly likely be restricted and refused basic services such as air travel, joining group activities and a choice in healthcare, unless we conform to the ideas of a fear filled manipulated society!

Sorry, this sounds extremely depressing and at this stage I have no idea how far this will be allowed to go and how far our freedom will be restricted from this moment in time, once the immediate danger subsides. All I know and see is that the World will never go back to what it looked like only several weeks ago.

On the flip side, this has also allowed me to contemplate a brighter future for social relationships and bonding through adversity. It pleases me to see total strangers taking action and helping the ones in society that need it most. People finding the courage to open up and share their deepest feelings with others, something they would have not felt at ease with several months ago. We come together through technology and socialise in a new way, apart, yet together to rise above this and produce a positive spark, a little optimism and humour to lift others spirits. Today, more than ever we realise that we are all connected and cannot get through this on our own. I must admit I have shed a few positive emotional tears of hope over the selflessness and actions of many individuals in the past week and can see that there is still hope for humanity to turn this experience into something we rise up from with true selflessness and a better future in mind.

Even in these dark times I can still find gratitude, actually more so than before, as the realisation sinks in that we cannot take anything for granted. We are so blessed with our access to the internet to stay connected and informed. How good does it feel now, to find a few last packets of toilet paper on a supermarket shelf? Or score that last can of baked beans, a thing we could not have imagined only 1 month ago!

Serendipity is still active too as I think how several things in my life have worked out for the better, like for example me not pre-booking that airline ticket as mums health is declining and could take a turn for the worse any day. I decided to leave it till the last minute, so I would not have to pay extra to change the dates, should I be required to go suddenly. Even though my heart hurts badly for the restrictions prohibiting me from my duties to take care of her and return the love she has given to me all my life, I trust she is in the best place with the best care possible right now, and that it will all work out somehow in due time.

For now hold tight, focus on, Be Glad about whatever positive things you can find around you and keep dreaming and focusing on a better future with more personal freedom and a return to harmony with our Mother Earth.

We have so much more power if we keep our focus away from the doom and gloom and use it to construct the World we would love to build for our children. I do feel it is important to be informed of all that is going on and not stick our heads in the sand, but now is the time and the last turnaround point where we have to be strong enough to balance that knowledge with constructive focus, if we want that future for our children to be one where we are in harmony with Mother Earth, the flora, fauna and fellow humans…. or… create a society where creativity and individuality are forced out of us by social, political and technological control.

Choose wisely!

With Thanks and Gratitude,

PollyEsther

Lucky Feather

“Enjoy your walk” said my neighbor from her front yard. I had stopped for a quick chat with her on my usual before dinner dog walk. “Thank you, I always do” I replied.

She did not have time for a long one today as she was standing outside freshly showered after work, ready to leave for her weekly meditation class.

In my head the thoughts did not stop as I walked on towards the corner of our small Court. Walking is a form of meditation for me, breathing fresh air, sometimes with a hint of salt and seaweed blowing in with the cool sea breeze coming off Westernport Bay. Focusing on how it makes my body feel, the sensation of my skin curling itself into goosebumps on my bare arms, now followed by a deep relaxing breath to not resist what is. I love looking around, observing the little marvels of nature scattered through our neighborhood and allowing my body to work on making some essential vitamin D…

Lately something interesting has been occuring every single walk. To most people it may seem extremely trivial, but to me it is like a sign of approval from nature that I am on the right track, reconnecting, and if a dear friend of mine is correct, it may even bring me luck.

As those thoughts were whirling around I stopped myself for a moment and re focused back to the moment and my surrounds. I first looked around and next down… and there it was again, to the left of my foot on the pavement, a perfectly shaped fresh feather. The timing and place could not have been more serendipitous and I could not help wonder if there was something else involved and what it may symbolize. After all I feel like living at a turnaround point of change in my life again, with my first Wim Hof Method workshop last Sunday resulting in a great review on my instructor profile. I took a deep breath, straightened my posture and smiled as I crossed the street and walked on.

Ofcourse I picked it up to take home to my now pretty fast growing collection of feathers.

It brings me joy and gratitude looking at all my ‘exotic’ feathers from local Lorikeets, Galahs, Cockatoos, Magpies, Owls and Kookaburras and who knows what other species I did not reconize. Who would have thought this possible when I was a little girl growing up in the Netherlands all those years ago?

I am so glad I live in a country with such wonderful and colourful birds. Do you bring home treasures you find on your walks too?

With Gratitude,

PollyEsther

Gratitude flowing over

Last Saturday my fears became a reality. A fire front moved into the settlement of Cobungra…..

It was a nightmare day for bushfires. The temperatures reached over 40 degrees Celsius, which I believe is triple digits on the Fahrenheit scale… in many places the fires were already burning for weeks and the hot northerly wind fanned them to extreme proportions. On that day a fire front hit the tiny community of Cobungra….again…

Several homes had only been rebuild 16 years ago after a bushfire came through in 2003. The firefighters were busy in a nearby village back then, and when they realized that the fire had travelled to the tiny settlement as well, they drove down with a truck to check. The truck arrived amidst an inferno that forced them to retreat back into the vehicle. They barely survived the intense heat from multiple fronts that attacked the ridge from 3 sides at once themselves!

At the same time a single bloke named Fred was huddling under wet blankets in the farthest deepest corner of his unfinished house he was building and close to finishing. His dog was dying in the shed where he had locked him in for safety, while he was running around putting out attacking embers. Sadly the fire fronts encroached so fast that he had to run for shelter, to save his own life, unable to rescue his dog. He barely survived due to lack of oxygen and said that meditating was the only thing that kept him alive. His house survived, but he lost so much around it. The experience left him traumatized and he has since always said he would evacuate, should a fire ever come back.

Well…to my surprise he stayed last Saturday to defend Cobungra again!!!

This time however he had help from 2 other neighbors, and use of a firetruck that the shire had stored in a shed in Cobungra because of what had happened in ’03.

The second bloke, Dale, is an amazing individual who is a granddad, Ski patroller in Winter, Jackaroo at Cobungra Station, Wildlife rescuer, a talented base player in a local punk rock band and CFA volunteer firefighter. The community is full of praise over all his selfless actions and volunteer work.

The third bloke, Bart, is also an exceptional guy. Ex pro snowboarder, singer/guitarist of the band, used to work on ships as a chef for years and just started his own small biz in his shed at Cobungra, painting cars, so he can be home more for his beautiful partner Laura. (who is the band’s drummer!) He also build his own house there, and if anything needs fixing, he is always ready to help anyone. On Saturday he lost 2 cars, 2 caravans, a skate ramp and probably more around his own house while saving everyone else’s….

So these 3 guys and 1 firetruck pulled off the impossible last Saturday!!! Saving EVERY house on the ridge!!! This included my second home that I live in during the Snow season while I work for the nearby ski resort of Mount Hotham. They did have a little backup from 4 other guys down the road, that I think would have been busy covering the lower parts of Cobungra. I cannot wait to hear all the stories of what went on when we get together soon. At the moment the area is still unsafe and it is better to wait and see what flares up next, before travelling into the mountains.

My gratitude is SO ENORMOUS and I know that all the other locals feel the same, as we witnessed, most from a safe location, in agony (hotspot map online and fb) the fire engulfing our beloved mountain homes again…. Not knowing if our friends were safe and what exactly was unfolding there was nerve wracking! Let alone what they were facing!

I tried to send good vibes to the area and focused on rain like never before along with many around the globe and it worked! 🙏 They received a welcome drizzle and cool change that night and the following days. A few days to rest up and recover from all the emotions and hard work.

Thursday the weather changed back to the usual Summer conditions again and yesterday another miracle happened! A smouldering log near the boundary of our property and Fred’s nextdoor set the surrounding bush alight. From what l saw in private video footage it looked to be in a location that l know is thickly covered in dogwood, highly flammable undergrowth up to 3m’s in height, common in our area…

I was elated to see a helicopter attacking this flare-up, resulting in successfully averting this danger too. I was also elated about the fact that the CFA (Country Fire Authority) has managed to help the residents of Cobungra in time to stop things from escalating, especially after what they had already been through! A firetruck would have had no access to that area due to dense bushes and steep terrain.

I am endlessly grateful and super Glad that, for now, we still have roofs over our heads up there, in the beautiful mountains of the Victorian High Country, both permanent and part time residents.

*Residents names have been altered for privacy reasons*

Am I going mad?

That thought came to me a lot in the past eight weeks while looking after my mum overseas, who is suffering dementia. Needless to say it was a stressful period with little time to myself. I managed to occasionally get out for an early morning walk, as you could read in my previous post, which felt great and enabled me to focus on my own needs briefly. I focussed on my posture and breath while walking and came home feeling ready to face the day ahead. On the wetter days I resorted to some morning yoga on my mat, that always comes along for any trip.

I bought some yarn and crocheted a vest in a few weeks, while mum was pretending to read the newspaper in front of the tv and drank lots of rooibos tea. This all comforted me and kept me sane and patient in dealing with her varying moods, worries, repetitive stories and questions. Still, I felt tired a lot and in need of an extra boost.

I was not specifically looking for anything, but a visit to a sauna did cross my mind a few times. While mum was resting after lunch, I spend time watching some interviews about longevity, a subject I am always trying to learn more about. In one of the episodes of this American based series, a dutch guy explained how he learned to cope better with stress and affected his immune system, by following some simple breathing techniques, as well as creating an extraordinary resilience in extreme environmental conditions such as heat and cold. To prove his claims he proceeded to set 20+ world records, like running marathons in the arctic circle and Kalahari desert in shorts only, as well as climbing the Kilimanjaro in record time, also just wearing shorts and sneakers. He swam under the polar icecap without a wetsuit! He was able to control his autonomic nervous and immune system, which was previously thought to be outside of our conscious power and his claims were backed up by extensive professional medical research in various universities in the Netherlands and United States. He also proved with medical tests that anyone can learn to do this with a group of volunteers in 4 days. He got my attention!

This was the second time his name cropped up. While I was visiting mum a year and a half earlier, I watched a documentary about the dutch astronaut legend Wubbo Ockels, who was fighting a losing battle with cancer. He was using Wim Hof’s breathing and cold exposure method to alleviate his suffering successfully, likely extending his prognosis. This documentary did not expand into the method nor Wim Hof much, but it did stay in my mind as fascinating.

It took a third stumble on his method, before it dawned on me that this might be just what I needed to research more thoroughly. I looked up the website http://www.wimhofmethod.com , watched a few video’s and warmed (pun intended) more and more to the idea of trying this, especially after watching the video of Laird Hamilton, a well know legend of big wave surfing endorsing the ‘Wim Hof Method’, or WHM for short. I checked out the events calender and found that Anne Eijssink http://www.eijscoach.nl , one of the qualified instructors was holding a workshop not too far from where I was staying. I signed up…

Her workshop was divided in two sessions 2 weeks apart. The second one was sceduled later than my flight back home and after an email exchange she offered me a private session for the second part at her home in Zutphen a few days before my departure.

The 2 1/2 hour group session was held at an interesting location in Wichmond, in her sister’s farm office/fitness studio, build inside the stable, high above the mozying cows, which surprizingly had a calming effect watching them going about their business underneath. After a coffee and introduction we learned how the way we breathe affects our emotions and energy levels, how it all works in the body and how to have more control over our emotions using our breath. We did some relaxation breathing, pushups and slowly proceeded to the WHM of breathing to feel the differences. Our homework was to use the breathing method daily for the next 30 days and aim to at least finish in the shower with cold water to improve circulation. This benefits the effects from the breathing, by ensuring the energising oxygen gets into every nook and cranny of our body.

In the second private session in Zutphen I learned more about mindset, focus, motivation and the effect on our reality and quality of life, followed by another breathing session. She made me practice a horse stance punching air and breathing, which was to be done before and after the bath in cold water topped up with a few buckets of ice…

Slowly I stepped into the icy bath and made sure to keep going steadily deeper into the water untill I sat in it submerged up to my chest. My body was protesting by painfully constricting the smaller bloodvessels, in my legs especially. Not unlike the opposite effect, when your hands and feet get really cold and you warm them under the warm water tap or in front of a fire. I hung in there untill my breath became slow and steady. The pain eased. I am unsure how long I sat there, but probably not much more than a couple of minutes before I felt the need to get out. My legs were a bit numb now and I looked down to see if they were still attached and holding me up.

Anne was really supportive, talking me through the experience. As soon as I stood there punching air in the late Autumn Sun that peeked out from behind the clouds smiling down on me, I felt a warm wave pulsing through my body. It felt invigorating! After the airpunches she suggested I try get back in the bath again, which I did. After all she spend a fair bit of time and effort preparing this bath, hacking the bucketsize iceblocks into smaller bits with an axe, which I did not want to go to waste. The pain was a lot less this time around and I even managed to smile for the pictures she offered to take for proof.

Driving home I still felt the ‘high’ it had had given me, despite the occasional shiver of my body slowly getting back to its usual state. I am so GLAD I gave into the urge to do something beneficial for myself too while there, listening to the suble messages and going with my urge to satisfy my curiosity, despite it being a tat crazy.

I still do the breathing method every day with the help of the WHM app and finish my shower with cold water. I love the feeling of peace, of giving my body complete rest for a minute or so while doing the breath hold. I even had a shower outside under the hose after I mowed the lawns and got covered in dust a day after I returned. Even though the weather here in Australia is heading into Summer and a far cry from chilly ‘Holland’ at the end of Autumn, it still invigorates me and gives me a lot more energy throughout the day. The more subtle effects are that my lungs and sinuses clear out more muck. It does seem to affect my motivation to take action on my thoughts and ideas and decrease my normally present procrastination on decisions. Also am I able to walk around barefoot more now without getting them cold all the time.

At one point, not long before the workshop, I went to bed with a heavy head and woke with an increasingly unpleasant headache. After my early morning breathing session and recommended inversion exercise on the app, it cleared up completely! I am curious to find out where this can take me and what the long term benefits will be, but even if it is only to be more resilient in the cold, it is already worth it!

What do you think?

Am I going mad?

Autumn Leaves are falling down

My alarm goes off around 7.30 am, regardless of what day it is at the moment. I know mum does not get up for at least another hour, so this is MY time, time to reflect and time to enjoy the splendour of nature at my own pace.

It has been a hectic, sometimes stressful and confusing year for me so far. Hence why you have not seen much action here either. After a fairly uneventful Summer I travelled from Australia, into Spring in the Netherlands mid March, where my cousin was waiting for me to help her get organised, in case a bad situation would eventuate with my elderly mum, to be prepared for everything. We found a fitting nursing home with a large garden and arranged as much as I could fit in the 4 weeks I stayed, like meal deliveries, meetings with care staff, doctors etc., to keep her living independently as long as possible, along with spending time with mum as well.

Upon returning home in Australia late April I got a phone call the next day, still groggy from jet lag, after which I found myself working an extra 5 nights a week, while trying to catch up in my garden at home and get that ready for my absence during Winter and work in the nursery part time! Well, no rest over Winter either, with record snowfalls, more lodge guests than ever, and keeping my promise from last year to my manager then, of attending more ski training this season! I had to leave a week before closing of the lifts, to fly back to the Netherlands for mum, who had deteriorated badly over their unusually hot Summer.

So here I am, finding myself utterly confused after Summer followed by Spring, followed by Winter and now in Autumn, but thankfully healthy and well. Something I unfortunately cannot say about my mum, who is physically doing very well, but mentally in need of full time support.

I swiftly throw on my ‘trackies’, hoodie and sneakers, over my pyjamas to keep the chill of the early morning out and quietly sneak out of the door. I am so glad mum chose to live at the edge of a small town in the Netherlands, from where it only takes me a few minutes to walk the street that brings me to the paddocks showing the Sunrise in full glory. I savour the wide open space, still in peace and quiet this early in the morning, especially during the weekends when work traffic is absent.

When I walk I focus on my surrounds, nature waking up along with myself and my body. It is easy to get sidetracked during the day and fall into bad habits in regards to posture, but during the stillness of the morning it is easier to focus on walking with a straighter back and shoulders relaxed in the right spot, arms swinging loosely in harmony with my stride. It feels so good to take a deep breath full of life’s most important energy that somehow feels more rejuvenating at this hour than the rest of the day.

I take many deep breaths during the day as well, but most are for the purpose of keeping my sanity and composure while mum asks me the same question for the 30th time in an hour and still fails to understand my calm explanation. She easily gets upset when this happens and I find myself repeating to her many times that it is ok and that all is organised and will work out just fine.

I know she just hasn’t got the synapses to connect the dots any more as dementia is slowly stealing her mental abilities. I also know that giving her an answer calmly with love is important, despite the seeming pointlessness, because she will ask me again in a few minutes. Important, for it gives her a feeling of being heard, loved and respected. I am sure she feels that I care for her as she still treats me like her daughter, even though she gets confused and thinks I am still in Australia, and much younger than in reality, lol, if only… Occasionally she believes me, mostly she puts her ‘stubborn hat’ on and is convinced I am telling her fibs. Reality does not make the same sense to her as it used to.

The way I mentally deal with the current situation is reminding myself of the old quote a Buddhist monk told me, that if I CAN do something about it there is no need to worry and if I CANNOT, why worry? Another one that helps me mentally is from Wayne Dyer, that it is NOT the situation or circumstances that stress people out, but the thoughts created about it. I take one step at a time and file my upcoming responsibilities in my phone, which gives me a beep when something pops up that needs attention.

The one thing that still cheers her up and takes her away from her worries and suspicions that everyone is out to deceive her is Nature. She really calms down and comes home a different person. I am so glad about this, as it is so good to see her marvel at it’s beauty too when we go for an afternoon stroll in the nearby forests on the milder days. It is ‘nature therapy’ for both of us! We stop and look at the many mushrooms showing themselves and we walk the leaf covered paths surrounded by old deciduous trees in beautiful Autumn colours. Something I have not seen much of in the last 15 years when I have always visited around her birthday in Spring.

Autumn Trees

We pick up a few treasures to take home and arrange in a shallow pottery dish on the table, acorns, pine cones, a few leaves and a tiny feather she found with the most vibrant blues. I take photo’s of the mushrooms, better left in peace where they are. Besides, my knowledge of them is insufficient to know which ones are safe to pick, let alone any names.

She still walks unaided and really well for her 87 years, but I am carefully monitoring her gait to see whether we should keep going, or returning to the car soon. Surprisingly she generally knows her way around quite well, despite being bad in many other ways. It is a blessing now that she moved back to the area where she grew up when dad was still with us, because she retained a lot of her older memories so far.

Mushroom coming up among Autumn leaves

I am always fascinated with these little surprises of nature, here one day, gone the next. Perhaps it is the shortening days and decay all around that makes me feel melancholic. For a moment I think about the issues at hand and cannot help but see the fleetingness of all we take for granted. A hint to make the most of, and be grateful for each day we are blessed to experience.

Mushroom covered tree trunk, found off the beaten track

Spotted these red and white ones only on passing a second time, surprisingly, as they are quite striking

I ponder about memories, which are not much different. As we walk along our lives we collect and grow them, we treasure and share them, but when decay sets in with old age, they are like the falling leaves of Autumn, we drop them slowly one by one on still days, or many at once when a storm hits….

I am so GLAD that my own ‘tree’ still has many leaves that, for now, are securely attached.

Leaf covered road

Feel free to comment 😉

With Gratitude,

PollyEsther

The Emerging Butterfly

l used to be a caterpillar small and insecure,
eating away at yummy green leaves so pure.

I did not feel so well and was not growing like l should…
Wondering how to make it better and if l possibly could?

Then one day a book fell in my hands,
that taught me which leaves were in bad lands.

l read and read some more,
like I’ve never read before.

Started eating the right leaves from then,
finally knowing what to eat and when.

I felt a whole lot better indeed,
and grew fatter and fatter with rapid speed.

Started having a real good time,
rolling along with a great big smile.

Then wore myself out after all,
got tired from eating, felt like curling into a ball.

I felt different and a little strange…
Were there some special leaves in the last range?

I spun a little hammock out of silk and laid myself down to rest.
It only seemed like moments when l woke back up in my little nest.

Who has washed it for me while l slept?
cos l am sure it was less tight, last time l checked…

I stretched out my stiff limbs, oh no, broke my comfy cocoon!
I don’t know if I was quite ready yet, to get up so soon?

Loving the safety of what I now knew,
but also a little curious as to how l just grew…

Into this beautiful creature l see in the reflection of the puddle below.
With an aura that just beams with this wonderful magical glow.

Topped off with some wings, how incredible!
just by eating the right foods that were eatable…

Instead of poisons like so many of my dear friends,
who perished long ago and came to sad and sorry ends.

I was the lucky one indeed,
finding the right kind of feed.

So l could be reborn into a different phase of life so free and light.
The day has never before looked so bright!

Oh the ecstasy of flying off with my special man,
and doing what only a butterfly can.

I wish to share what I learned with all the caterpillars yet to be born,
but sadly know I will not witness my offspring and if they have ever flown.

It is the task of my genes to pass that on for me,
and my task is to let them be.

Let them be free to find their own path at their own pace.
May they all grow into butterflies and live happily in their own space!

With Gratitude,

PollyEsther

PS: Something a bit different to normal, but after all the lovely comments on my last poem, I could not resist posting this one too. I wrote it to enter into an on-line ‘Burning Man’ event display, which has a theme of growth and transformation.

The recent multitude of butterflies in nature, as well as my attention being drawn to them a lot lately in different situations, inspired me to put the two together. There is a lot of symbolism woven into this piece that is very close to my heart and I am pleased with how it turned out, GLAD my muse tapped me on my shoulder again yesterday!

What do you think?

The sneaky flower

Last Summer one of my larger cacti was about to flower just before we left on a mini trip over the holidays. I asked my watering friend to keep an eye on it and snap a picture when it opened. She forgot…

This Summer that same variety again had a flower bud just before our annual mini holiday of 5 days. I have many pots and am still unsure how often they all flower, but not every year! I had never seen the flower and owned this cactus variety for at least 3 years!

Again I asked my (other) watering friend to keep an eye out, urging to check every day because it is no more than a 24 hour event! I made sure my camera was easy to find and charged up.

Coming back I was eager to see the pictures, but my friend was convinced the flower had not happened yet and was still to come out. The bud did look a little sad to me and proved me right as days went on and it only shrivelled more…

sad flower

Fortunately, this year seemed a good one for flowering cacti and I was treated to another bud coming out. This time I checked it two, three times a day! Surely I was not going to miss seeing this what looked like a promising magnificent event again! The previous ones from another variety were the size of an outstretched hand. The stem of the bud started stretching faster and longer on Friday, but surely the weather change was going to put a spanner in the works, I thought. Serious thunderstorms forecast for that night.

It was indeed a good, well needed downpour for the garden creating pleasant cooler temperatures in the morning along with some fascinating lightning.

I woke up early and refreshed and walked as per usual straight outside into my garden to wake up to the day and let the dog out. Of course my lemon tree check to gather the newly fallen ones for my morning juice and wander past my cacti…

Cactus flower after overnight rain

It did not look like it had fully opened yet, so I resolved to come back with the camera after breakfast when the sun might be closer to lighting it up a little more for me.

This one does not like the sun!

Now it all started to make sense, how my watering friends and myself had never seen this cactus flower. It likes to do it in the dark, overnight! It has a beautiful sweet fragrance that to me comes close to jasmine or frangipani. And another bud underneath…

Budding Cactus

A week later it opened up at night after I gave it an extra drink to ensure this flower coming out. It was the first one I saw this close to opening!

Cactus flower opening just before dark

I made sure to take plenty of photo’s and even though the night time ones are not good enough to publish, I did get some very early morning beauties!

It is so easy to feel gratitude for being witness to this special, just 12 hour flower that is not only beautiful, but smelled like heaven too!

Finally fully flowering!

Cactus flower in full glory

With gratitude,

PollyEsther

Be water, my friend

The flower looks up at the sky where dark clouds are gathering. She is feeling a little limp and tired after the hot sun dried out the soil around her. It gave her a lot of warm energy and growth for a while, but now all the moisture has gone, her energy is vanishing quickly with it, her leaves shriveling.

A loud thunder crashes the silence of the moment, followed by a rain drop falling on one of her petals. She breathes a sigh of relief. More drops are now refreshing her leaves. As she enjoys the cooling water she once again feels alive and stretches up to the sky. The dust is washing off her and with that taking away her weakness. She can breathe fully now and quickly regains her strength and readiness for another bud to develop.

So often I get inspired on a rainy weekend day to write another blog post. I love rainy days now, for they allow me to relax and contemplate. No need to worry about doing the washing or watering the garden today! I am glad to have some time out! This morning we got 15 millimeters of rain with some thunderstorms and the above scene came into my mind, creating a feeling of awe and wonder about how a thirsty, limp plant can spring back up and stand tall and strong, by just absorbing water! It made me think about the amazing power of water, commonly taken for granted.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4n-rw6vq-4 The mystery of water

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yS0d5gyE7PE The healing power of water H2O – the memory of water

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59iuelCL0MQ The mystery of water, scientific proof

Just in case you are pressed for time and don’t want to watch these links, they all point to findings that there is an unexpected powerful energetic factor to H2O that is a little trickier to scientifically explain besides the chemical composition we can measure. It appears water gets affected by our thoughts and feelings as well as the rest of the environment it comes in contact with.

Whether these videos and their claims are true or not, they serve to make us think about it and appreciate this substance for what it undeniably is, LIFE SUSTAINING and ESSENTIAL. What if we took our thoughts a step further and look from different angles? What if water is showing us OUR potential? Is it possible that by expecting we have an energetic influence on water, WE ARE actually CREATING the results that these experiments are showing us? From the video’s I get the impression that it is a two way street with us affecting water and in return water affecting us. Is this a clue in the mysterious dance of life and consciousness, showing us that it does not matter if we consider a substance organic or inorganic, everything containing water is infused with it? What if we are water?

Are we mere drops in ONE ocean of infinite life and if so, what kind of ocean do we want it to be?

What are your thoughts on this?

Happy Pollyesther

Much more than spinning yarns, blogging about the amazing power of gratitude while seeing life from my current perspective

nature

The End of the World as we know it…

Lucky Feather

Gratitude flowing over

Am I going mad?

Autumn Leaves are falling down

The Emerging Butterfly

The sneaky flower

Be water, my friend