Why do odd things seem normal?

While overseas, in my native country, the Netherlands, for the first time since moving to Australia on a permanent visa about 10 years earlier, I felt homesick for Australia. This was quite a strange realization as many immigrants seem to feel the other way around. This experience was an important part of me deciding to become an Australian Citizen, so I too had a say in the politics that concerned me and gain the right to vote for the people and parties that did what felt right to me, as well as being able to call Australia truly my home. The other was that on several overseas flights I had experienced inconvenient holdups in Customs due to an issue with the visa in my passport, causing them to have to ring Canberra every time to ask for permission to let me fly back to Australia. This was especially troubling as I was traveling with a group of friends that had to wait for me. Another helpful deciding factor was that I was able to retain my Dutch citizenship, phew!

In hindsight it may have been a deep longing for the freedom I perceived to have gained by my move to Australia. I treasured the fact that you could still drink the water from mountain streams and camp in the bush near a river somewhere, instead of a bustling caravan park. So many untouched areas of wilderness left here, where you can easily escape from the sights and sounds of civilization like traffic, loud music and voices. Go for a skinny dip, catch a fish for dinner, cook on the fire and find yourself back in harmony with nature. A young and free country full of land to explore and escape to, where only natures laws are important…

I had to produce a lot of original and certified documents that had to be translated for the authorities here. The application process took quite some time, which was no issue, just a lot of effort and stress, which I always experience when dealing with any organization and paperwork. Thankfully I was already allowed to continue staying with my permanent visa.

When time came to vote, I looked at my options. I had never really been interested in politics, as much of the talk used to go straight over my head. Well, I found out immediately that most of my friends and family could not answer my questions about the system and it seemed very complex. Not only that, I failed to find any party that resembled anything close to the one I had been faithful to in the Netherlands!
It did not exist! All the other options seemed wrong, for all they could do was talk about the mistakes of the opposing side, instead of the good plans they were going to introduce, but hey, best use my vote and give it to the better of the 2 bad options, right?

Time went on and I kept voting that way, until I had to postpone a return flight home to Australia, dealing with delays and broken promises from agencies and psychiatrists that were involved with my mother’s admission into a nursing home. I missed the local election! I had no idea it was being held during my absence, as they only started talking about it on the media a few weeks beforehand, after I had left the country. The news in the Netherlands does not exactly cover the local council elections in Victoria! I found a fine in the mail after I returned! What the…!.? Why do they fine you for missing an election due to family circumstances? Or hardly any circumstance at all?

To me, who never missed voting in a country where there was only a missed opportunity to have a say as consequence for not voting, that seemed extremely odd, but hey, maybe thats what it takes to motivate those laid back Aussies to participate in politics and contribute to our democracy and freedom?
My friends and family said: “Well, thats just how things are done in this country”.

I asked: “If the majority of the population does not agree with what our chosen politicians do when in power, which I had observed so far never seems to be what little good they promised before election, what can we do to hold them accountable?” Again, none of my friends and family had a clue or decent solution to offer, and I was not sufficiently versed in laws and official lingo, to find out from available sources myself. I let it go, focused on other things I did have power over, and kept trying to support the smallest parties that were the closest to my ideas in what they promised, to hopefully avoid giving my vote inadvertently to the 2 ‘big bad boys’

Why would a government feel that people need punishment as an incentive to vote? If they did a great job and listened to us, would people not naturally turn up in droves to keep supporting them, to keep doing what they are doing so well? Or is there possibly an underlying reason? Like that we do not really get a choice and voice…? Where are the candidates that follow up on their election promises, that we, the people can believe in, that stand up for our interests in our so called democracy, as we have been told they should do? To me it seems very suspicious of not being very democratic and again I asked questions like what does it take to get a government that actually listens to the people? How can we promote a transparent, simpler more logical election process that anyone can understand, including immigrants like me? Looking at the current situation overseas and election issues coming to light there, I wonder… Is this the time it could happen? Is America due for a new political system where the people do get their voices heard? What does that mean for governments around the world that are probably tied up in the suspected wrongdoings?

This morning I thought about this again, when I looked at a thread about another hot topic on Twitter. A doctor claimed that there should be a dialog possible about not forcing people to get vaccinated. Wow, so many closed minded highly emotional responses outweighing the sensible approaches! I believe everyone has the right to their opinion, so why attack others of a different opinion? Why so black and white? If people have reservations about the safety of the vaccinations, it does not make sense to me to slap them straight into the anti-vax corner and call them ugly names! What is wrong with the middle ground and demanding that proper unbiased research and double blind tests by independent scientists be made available for all that want to know and see full safety proven first instead? Why do pro-vaxers worry about people who don’t want to vaccinate? What have they got to worry about if they believe they are protected by the vaccine?

I am NOT anti vaccination, and have in fact had most vaccinations recommended to me in the past, for I did believe it was a good thing to do at that time.

This time however, I am becoming highly suspicious for the lack of research available to see so early in the process of developing the vaccines, while large companies are starting to threaten with possible, some very costly (like self financed hotel quarantines) sanctions for those unwilling to cooperate with a proposed worldwide vaccination program. Whether they are sensitive to the substances or refusing for other good and valid reasons, is not even open for discussion right now!

Why the need to rush these vaccinations, really, when there have been several very successful therapeutics, with proven safety records, so far mostly denied to the public and not spoken about in mainstream media? Why is there no talk about what people can do in regards to lifestyle, diet and supplements like Zinc, vit.C and D, that would dramatically increase survival rates, if not prevent infection, as some very knowledgeable, properly trained and certified doctors have shown. Why is there no talk about ionising air conditioning systems to keep inside air clean and safe to breathe? Did you know that our nose releases nitric oxide as a pathogen exterminator when used for breathing? How many are under stress and feeling anxiety right now, and breathe through their mouths because of this? What about the effects of UV in our powerful Sun and special lights disinfecting our surrounds? Why is a lot of helpful empowering information being censored so heavily on social and mainstream media?

Can we still trust our government and institutions to do what is best for us if their finances also come from sources with vested interests? A lot of things smell badly off here, and because of THAT, I am unwilling to blindly trust the current vaccines at this early stage. Without seeing thourough unbiased and double blind research data, how can I, based on my experiences and observations? What about knowing what the long term side effects will be? Remember some other vaccinations that we were sold in the past few decades, that were more damaging than people expected? Those lawsuits still go on today!

It is becoming blatantly obvious to me, that common sense is out the window and we are heading for a cliff if we stick to this road,

but why does it still seem normal to so many?…

Why do people listen to fear spreading exaggerated messages and let it influence their lives? Don’t they see and understand that fear puts us into a sympathetic mindset, that is great for fight and flight, but also overrides logic and common sense, besides shutting down the effectiveness of our immune system!? Do people not know their own true power any more, and why do they allow others to control that? Do they not understand that the emotion of fear creates the circumstances in the future that will generate more fear? Is that what we collectively want to create, a future to be feared?…

It is time for more transparency and true freedom of information, if they want the people to cooperate, trust their governments and other ruling organizations, and comply with their wishes. How can we trust our institutions, if they are secretive? What are they hiding from us? Why don’t they trust us with the truth and show us some solid research? Lao Tzu wrote among some more tips for governing 3000 years ago:

“If you don’t trust the people, they become untrustworthy.”

Would it not be good to have that framed and hung in every political office, to remind them we are mostly sensible people that will do the right thing when needed, given the right truthful information, without the threats.

Another quote I wish to frame and hang in their offices would be:

“Consider your grandkids in every decision made”.

There wont be any sanctions needed if we are trusted to do the sensible thing, like me feeling a need to fulfil my voting duties in the Netherlands. We can scrap a large part of our societies rules and regulations when motivation comes from clarity, positivity, love, respect, transparency and honesty. Maybe we just need to get back to the basics of the Constitution and 10 Commandments?

We need to work together in our immediate communities and stand up to improve health, wellbeing, prosperity and so much more that can easily be improved when funds are redirected from wasteful spending! With creativity, diversity and a desire to benefit all living beings now, and in our future, we can build a true happy place for everyone! It starts locally with individual choices to uplift and benefit others.

I Have faith that the current times are a fleeting moment of awakening common sense in people and governments, and that our future is going to be one, so amazingly great, we can only just imagine the possibilities now. A future to feel grateful for, glad about, full of beauty, health, abundance for all, community, cooperation, true freedom, peace and happiness!

It starts by educating yourself and not getting swept up in the fear tide. Aim to actively spread awareness, unconditional love, individual empowerment, truth, honesty and transparency! One of the most important things you can learn today is how to be in control of your emotions by applying certain breathing techniques and generate awareness of when you are functioning from the sympathetic or parasympathetic nervous system. We need to feed the wolf inside ourselves we like the best, if we want it to become stronger than his opposing brother! Education is the path to Freedom! Get to KNOW thyself!

What would you suggest to help improve our future to one we can all feel more grateful about? Please leave a comment.

With Gratitude, PollyEsther

Am I going mad?

That thought came to me a lot in the past eight weeks while looking after my mum overseas, who is suffering dementia. Needless to say it was a stressful period with little time to myself. I managed to occasionally get out for an early morning walk, as you could read in my previous post, which felt great and enabled me to focus on my own needs briefly. I focussed on my posture and breath while walking and came home feeling ready to face the day ahead. On the wetter days I resorted to some morning yoga on my mat, that always comes along for any trip.

I bought some yarn and crocheted a vest in a few weeks, while mum was pretending to read the newspaper in front of the tv and drank lots of rooibos tea. This all comforted me and kept me sane and patient in dealing with her varying moods, worries, repetitive stories and questions. Still, I felt tired a lot and in need of an extra boost.

I was not specifically looking for anything, but a visit to a sauna did cross my mind a few times. While mum was resting after lunch, I spend time watching some interviews about longevity, a subject I am always trying to learn more about. In one of the episodes of this American based series, a dutch guy explained how he learned to cope better with stress and affected his immune system, by following some simple breathing techniques, as well as creating an extraordinary resilience in extreme environmental conditions such as heat and cold. To prove his claims he proceeded to set 20+ world records, like running marathons in the arctic circle and Kalahari desert in shorts only, as well as climbing the Kilimanjaro in record time, also just wearing shorts and sneakers. He swam under the polar icecap without a wetsuit! He was able to control his autonomic nervous and immune system, which was previously thought to be outside of our conscious power and his claims were backed up by extensive professional medical research in various universities in the Netherlands and United States. He also proved with medical tests that anyone can learn to do this with a group of volunteers in 4 days. He got my attention!

This was the second time his name cropped up. While I was visiting mum a year and a half earlier, I watched a documentary about the dutch astronaut legend Wubbo Ockels, who was fighting a losing battle with cancer. He was using Wim Hof’s breathing and cold exposure method to alleviate his suffering successfully, likely extending his prognosis. This documentary did not expand into the method nor Wim Hof much, but it did stay in my mind as fascinating.

It took a third stumble on his method, before it dawned on me that this might be just what I needed to research more thoroughly. I looked up the website http://www.wimhofmethod.com , watched a few video’s and warmed (pun intended) more and more to the idea of trying this, especially after watching the video of Laird Hamilton, a well know legend of big wave surfing endorsing the ‘Wim Hof Method’, or WHM for short. I checked out the events calender and found that Anne Eijssink http://www.eijscoach.nl , one of the qualified instructors was holding a workshop not too far from where I was staying. I signed up…

Her workshop was divided in two sessions 2 weeks apart. The second one was sceduled later than my flight back home and after an email exchange she offered me a private session for the second part at her home in Zutphen a few days before my departure.

The 2 1/2 hour group session was held at an interesting location in Wichmond, in her sister’s farm office/fitness studio, build inside the stable, high above the mozying cows, which surprizingly had a calming effect watching them going about their business underneath. After a coffee and introduction we learned how the way we breathe affects our emotions and energy levels, how it all works in the body and how to have more control over our emotions using our breath. We did some relaxation breathing, pushups and slowly proceeded to the WHM of breathing to feel the differences. Our homework was to use the breathing method daily for the next 30 days and aim to at least finish in the shower with cold water to improve circulation. This benefits the effects from the breathing, by ensuring the energising oxygen gets into every nook and cranny of our body.

In the second private session in Zutphen I learned more about mindset, focus, motivation and the effect on our reality and quality of life, followed by another breathing session. She made me practice a horse stance punching air and breathing, which was to be done before and after the bath in cold water topped up with a few buckets of ice…

Slowly I stepped into the icy bath and made sure to keep going steadily deeper into the water untill I sat in it submerged up to my chest. My body was protesting by painfully constricting the smaller bloodvessels, in my legs especially. Not unlike the opposite effect, when your hands and feet get really cold and you warm them under the warm water tap or in front of a fire. I hung in there untill my breath became slow and steady. The pain eased. I am unsure how long I sat there, but probably not much more than a couple of minutes before I felt the need to get out. My legs were a bit numb now and I looked down to see if they were still attached and holding me up.

Anne was really supportive, talking me through the experience. As soon as I stood there punching air in the late Autumn Sun that peeked out from behind the clouds smiling down on me, I felt a warm wave pulsing through my body. It felt invigorating! After the airpunches she suggested I try get back in the bath again, which I did. After all she spend a fair bit of time and effort preparing this bath, hacking the bucketsize iceblocks into smaller bits with an axe, which I did not want to go to waste. The pain was a lot less this time around and I even managed to smile for the pictures she offered to take for proof.

Driving home I still felt the ‘high’ it had had given me, despite the occasional shiver of my body slowly getting back to its usual state. I am so GLAD I gave into the urge to do something beneficial for myself too while there, listening to the suble messages and going with my urge to satisfy my curiosity, despite it being a tat crazy.

I still do the breathing method every day with the help of the WHM app and finish my shower with cold water. I love the feeling of peace, of giving my body complete rest for a minute or so while doing the breath hold. I even had a shower outside under the hose after I mowed the lawns and got covered in dust a day after I returned. Even though the weather here in Australia is heading into Summer and a far cry from chilly ‘Holland’ at the end of Autumn, it still invigorates me and gives me a lot more energy throughout the day. The more subtle effects are that my lungs and sinuses clear out more muck. It does seem to affect my motivation to take action on my thoughts and ideas and decrease my normally present procrastination on decisions. Also am I able to walk around barefoot more now without getting them cold all the time.

At one point, not long before the workshop, I went to bed with a heavy head and woke with an increasingly unpleasant headache. After my early morning breathing session and recommended inversion exercise on the app, it cleared up completely! I am curious to find out where this can take me and what the long term benefits will be, but even if it is only to be more resilient in the cold, it is already worth it!

What do you think?

Am I going mad?

What would you do?

A dilemma cropped up and the best answer has so far eluded me. Oh, sorry, I have been so busy that I forgot to fill you in on whats been happening behind the scenes on my laptop!

First, I felt inspired again to write more, but differently this time, with even more passion, hence the flower picture 😉 I like to write about things that bug my mind a lot, important more educational and informational stuff that may also be of help to some others looking for answers to their issues.

Because I felt it was too far off from what this blog is about, my personal experiences with gratitude and everyday ‘magic’, I decided to open my options and start a second blog with possible room to expand. The idea was to create options to get some rewards for all the time l spend looking and researching to get this stuff out for everyone to benefit. Maybe sell a course or link to other sites that might give me some affiliate rewards. Maybe it will never happen, but I want to try as my usual part time casual job is sending me into poverty at the moment and my life is too busy with other priorities, like going overseas again shortly to look after my mum, to be adding another job now.

After a lot of research into Internet marketing style info, it was clear that I needed a ‘list’. After learning a lot more more about different ‘list’ companies, I set up and email list subscription with Aweber and had to pay annually for that.

Next I found out that WordPress.com does not cater for Aweber plugins, so the already set up ‘.com blog’ was useless now. I had to jump over to WordPress.org to create this so called sales funnel. OK…..sigh…
Now before I could do that I had to get a domain name, which was not included in the deal with ‘.org’! After some more study I decided on Bluehost which was recommended by several experts on line, which also costs me an annual fee…

Hang on guys! I am not selling anything here yet! What happened to building a reputation and following first? http://happypollyesther.org

So I dropped my Aweber subscription after a year not signing up a single soul, nor working on my project much besides slowly getting more inspiration. I like being prepared mentally and physically 😉

Now that I have 4 Posts up I am getting second thoughts about my choice of going with WordPress.org and paying my ongoing Bluehost fees…

I cannot get a profile picture up despite already having it linked to my WordPress.com and ‘About Me’ profile. To get my statistics, I had to sign up for ‘Jetpack’, which thankfully did allow me a free trial for now… I cannot work out how to get widgets on the blog or a ‘follow’ button and feel like a total blog noob again.

Why can I not just add a link to the end of each post referring to my Paypal account instead of a button for donations and go back to my originally set up new WordPress.com page?

But then I will lose my perfect domain name for ‘.org’ in case l need it when things do take off…

What would you do? Stay and pay or lose the domain and go back to the comfort of WordPress.com? Perhaps you have some other clever suggestions that could help?

I would really appreciate your thoughts on this!
Thanks!

With Gratitude,
PollyEsther

I’m getting old…or am I?

1/12/16
It was my fiftieth birthday in November, shhh… and no, I did not have a big party to celebrate the half century milestone. I simply could not be bothered with all the extra work involved in getting the house ready for visitors, shopping to get the expected snacks and the cleaning again after. I decided to treat myself and have a quiet one instead. After all it is just a number, right?

Many years ago I observed older people and decided to never grow old, but only grow up without losing my inner child. It did not appeal or make sense to me becoming set in my ways, lose all playfulness and not being able to relate to younger generations. I have worked on and prepared for that ever since, learning how to stay healthy naturally, keep fit, flexible and focus on what makes me happy rather than what is expected of my age. I’d rather be a silly old cow having a ball than a stuck up grumpy one, bothered by mental and physical restrictions!

It does help to know what I have learned so far, that no matter what life throws your way you always have a choice in how to respond and deal with it. It helps to know that there will always be someone that does not agree with you no matter what you try, so why keep trying to conform to their ideas? It also helps to know that there is an Infinite Source available to everyone of us that provides all the answers, if we know how to ask and listen to it. This same Source also helps us continuously, turning our dreams into inspired action and reality. Another secret to growing old gracefully, I think is to never stop learning and pushing your boundaries as well as appreciating the good things in our lives, no matter how small they may seem.

Over the past Winter I started having some so called ‘old age related symptoms’ that were bugging me a little. I immediately identified it as Arthritis, for my mother also suffers from it. I decided to not focus on it and hoped it would ease when returning home to the warmer weather again, just like last year when another finger got affected over Winter by the cold, or so I thought.

This one was more red, swollen and painful though, to the point where l could not bend it or put pressure on the knuckle at all without pain which developed stronger towards the end of Winter. The knuckle bones also got much bigger and felt like they were grinding against each other whenever I tried using it. Being a right handed person, I was glad it was only the index finger on my left hand!

It did not ease when the weather warmed…This is where I started to feel a bit more concerned and bothered by it. After all, I am aiming to get the free season ski lift pass when I turn 70 and become a ski bum when I get my retirement! What is my body going to be like then? What am l doing wrong? Something needed to be done and I knew from experience and self education that conventional methods merely ease the symptoms and do not cure.

It is generally accepted that so called ‘old age’ problems are chronic and cannot get cured! Are they,… really???

I refuse to accept that as a fact and am determined to prove that statement wrong! Not a small task, I know… However, after having overcome other so called ‘incurable’ problems like eczema and hay fever, enabling me to ditch all medications over the past 15 years, adhering to the guidance received, I am now much more open to possibilities rather than restrictions and settling for accepted norms. Especially when these myths are told by a medical system focused on keeping shareholders happy and patients dependent on chemicals, that may relieve the symptoms, but also come with nasty side effects, the rebel inside me arcs up again.

Don’t get me wrong, I still go and see a doctor when in need of a check up, diagnostics, serious illness or if my body would suffer damage that needs patching up.
Where in my opinion the medical system lacks, and falls terribly short is the complex problems where the cause is located in a whole different part of the body to where the symptoms appear. Skin specialists do not learn much about digestive problems as that is another department altogether in a normal hospital.

Thankfully the answers were found not long after in the shape of a video interview/transcript that landed in my emails:

https://theurbanmonk.com/autoimmunity-is-now-the-1-killer/

After watching/reading it all became clear, why as a kid l never really liked bread and would only eat a sandwich if it had chocolate sprinkles on it. It now made sense that as a toddler I spat out the porridge mum tried feeding me and why whole meal bread made my saliva disappear and turned into a lump of clay in my mouth, impossible to swallow without flushing it down with a cup of tea…It also makes sense now that I always craved yoghurt, the pro-biotics of which soothed my digestive system again after eating wheat. Why would you consider that something that is meant to be essential to good health may not be so?

Thinking back at my diet over the past Winter, I realised that my wheat intake had increased dramatically with eating lots more pasta meals, pizza and bread on top of multiple muesli bars to have a ‘healthy’ snack when hungry in between. Perhaps it was also the reason for my obviously compromised immune system that gave me another unexpected virus that knocked me out of action for a week, despite my freshly squeezed lemon/orange juices every morning, banana for morning tea and an apple and mandarin with lunch.

Needless to say I decided to try a wheat free diet just to test if this was a solution for my problem.

Within two weeks my lingering shoulder injury vanished and I could feel more ease in trying to move my finger. The pain eased a little too.

—————————————————
15/5/17
Now five months later l am almost able to straighten my finger and it seems a lot less swollen, although the bones of the knuckle are still enlarged . I have done a bit of stretching and massaging it with different natural substances such as Coconut Oil infused with Frankincense and liquid Magnesium. There is hardly any pain now and l am able to use that finger again to pick up small items and do up buttons.

Another fact l noticed over the past five months is that my back and neck feel smoother and do not need as much straightening every day with stretching and rolling around, as l find so helpful normally.
It simply does not click in and out of place as much.

The fact that after sinning this past weekend with Potato Wedges (dusted with flower for that crispy taste) for lunch on Saturday and some wheat flower in the white sauce on the Cauliflower last night l woke up with more pain proves to me that indeed, cutting out gluten was a good move on my behalf. Curious how my immune system holds up coming Winter…but so far so good, feeling great! l did not catch a cold from some affected friends that l spend time with in enclosed areas during the last few months, which is a great start.

I am so glad I listened to my feelings and picked up the hints pointing to the answers in the video as well as the book that was recommended twice to me in two days.
It’s a good one for everyone suffering any inflammatory issues with a relatively easy to understand explanation of how it all works in our body, backed up by scientific research and recipes to get started. Dr. David Perlmutter’s ‘Grain Brain’ has changed my world for the better so far. I hope it may give you too some insights. Please share your thoughts!

PRECIOUS TIMES

“I can’t find the keys anywhere, how is that possible?” Mum asks me several times a day. Another one is: “Have you closed your window?”, every time we leave the house. The keys are quickly found in the usual spots she puts them down automatically without thinking or registering. The room I am in does not have an opening window at all, but I assure her every time that the window is shut.

Three years ago was the last time I flew to the Netherlands to visit mum, family and friends. It was a busy, fun time with several parties and a primary school reunion, creating many happy memories. At the time she also had her 83rd. birthday. She was a little annoyed that she was struggling to remember all the names of the plants and flowers in her garden, but I guess when you get to that age, you should be happy to still be physically fit enough to be able to enjoy working in your own garden.

Late last year my cousin, who keeps a close eye on mum for me when I am in Australia, which is now home for me, emailed me concerned that I should be thinking about another visit soon, because mum was confusing her, me and her daughters names badly when they looked at some old photos. “If you leave it much longer there may be a chance she will not remember who you are!”, she said…

So here I am, visiting again, making sure not to miss her 86th birthday and making the most of what time we have left together before she loses her memories altogether. My cousin and I are busy talking to her doctor and care staff and making arrangements for her future behind her back. It feels wrong, but what choice do we have? She is convinced that she is fine and does not need any help yet. I guess in some ways I do agree with her, as she is still very alert and swift to respond to the traffic when driving her car on familiar roads. She is still capable of putting in a fair effort maintaining her small and well manicured garden and we both enjoy looking at the birds she feeds every day and squirrels that like to steel some of the birds’ crumbs when no one is looking…

But…at the same time she keeps losing things around the house, convinced that the care staff is stealing from her all the time. She only trusts a very small number of familiar people she knows well, thankfully including me. Others she treats with suspicion, fear and mostly verbal aggression, occasionally raising her fist to emphesize she is serious. The memory lapses come and go with me thinking she is indeed fine at times, but then at night when tired she looks at me and tells me she finds it strange to think that she has a daughter at all… Physically she is doing very well for her age, mentally it is becoming a real concern. She functions ok when she is able to stick to her routines that have become almost compulsive. When it is disturbed she gets very upset and stressed.

There is a lot she does not understand, like why she has trouble with her tummy when she stresses, as she does not remember she has been suffering from Crohn’s disease since before I was born, probably set off by a stressful period in her life not long after she got married due to circumstances out of her control. She also has had other inflammatory issues ever since.

While making my plans and arrangements for my journey to see her I asked an internal question and the answer came in the form of a book called ‘The Grain Brain’ by Dr. David Perlmutter who describes how and why most of her issues could likely be the result of food sensitivities, with the main culprits possibly dairy and gluten. The fact that my own minor inflammatory issues eased after starting on a gluten free diet and cutting out milk convinced me even more that his theories and findings were of value. I decided to ask her doctor for some tests to see what the results would be.

After living with her now for well over a week and observing her obsession with her routines, I sadly have to make peace with the fact that she is too far gone to change… She does not understand it when I have to tell her every night again that I do not eat custard for desert any more. When drinking tea she keeps offering me biscuits and looks puzzled why I only want special gluten free ones and refuse to eat the normal ones she keeps offering. She thinks that I must be very ill not to be able to eat all those ‘healthy’ traditional things and need special bread for lunch, despite my best efforts of explaining why. She does not understand… Every morning she makes the table and places a plate for me to eat my toast that I have not had for breakfast for years. I love my goats milk yoghurt with gluten free cereal and some fresh fruit like a mandarin and/or banana added, along with a black coffee.

She cannot see that I do not need hours any more to wake up every morning and look and feel healthier than when I was in my twenties. She does not remember how badly I suffered from several allergies and was always tired and often sick with every bug that came around, while I was still eating like she does now.

It is difficult listening to the same stories every day and hearing her complain about being tired and her tummy playing up. It is difficult, but I have to be at peace with the facts and make the most of what little time we have left to enjoy our walks in nature and spend time asking all the questions I have not before that I would still like to know before she does not remember the answers.

It makes me sad to see her like this and knowing that with a few changes and additions to her diet she could possibly be free from all her old health issues as well as slow, stop or even improve her declining memory, but you cannot force her to eat things she is convinced would make her feel sick in her stomach.

I am glad however that she still remembers to place an extra plate for me even though I really need a bowl. I am glad that we are able to enjoy those little things now I am here with her, like walking in nature, playing indoor lawnbowls, cleaning the autumn leaves from her garden together, watching the nesting birds around her home and the squirrels stealing the birds bread crumbs…

P.S.
I am sorry my dear Dutch friends, that this time around I will not take time to party with you, nor run around to visit everyone I have not seen for three years. Maybe we can arrange a meeting on a Sunday afternoon somewhere in a pub for a few hours, later during my stay, where everyone that wishes can come to say g’day before I head back to my duties and work in Australia. For now I intend to make the most of my time with mum. I hope that after reading my story you will understand…

With Gratitude, PollyEsther

The Emerging Butterfly

l used to be a caterpillar small and insecure,
eating away at yummy green leaves so pure.

I did not feel so well and was not growing like l should…
Wondering how to make it better and if l possibly could?

Then one day a book fell in my hands,
that taught me which leaves were in bad lands.

l read and read some more,
like I’ve never read before.

Started eating the right leaves from then,
finally knowing what to eat and when.

I felt a whole lot better indeed,
and grew fatter and fatter with rapid speed.

Started having a real good time,
rolling along with a great big smile.

Then wore myself out after all,
got tired from eating, felt like curling into a ball.

I felt different and a little strange…
Were there some special leaves in the last range?

I spun a little hammock out of silk and laid myself down to rest.
It only seemed like moments when l woke back up in my little nest.

Who has washed it for me while l slept?
cos l am sure it was less tight, last time l checked…

I stretched out my stiff limbs, oh no, broke my comfy cocoon!
I don’t know if I was quite ready yet, to get up so soon?

Loving the safety of what I now knew,
but also a little curious as to how l just grew…

Into this beautiful creature l see in the reflection of the puddle below.
With an aura that just beams with this wonderful magical glow.

Topped off with some wings, how incredible!
just by eating the right foods that were eatable…

Instead of poisons like so many of my dear friends,
who perished long ago and came to sad and sorry ends.

I was the lucky one indeed,
finding the right kind of feed.

So l could be reborn into a different phase of life so free and light.
The day has never before looked so bright!

Oh the ecstasy of flying off with my special man,
and doing what only a butterfly can.

I wish to share what I learned with all the caterpillars yet to be born,
but sadly know I will not witness my offspring and if they have ever flown.

It is the task of my genes to pass that on for me,
and my task is to let them be.

Let them be free to find their own path at their own pace.
May they all grow into butterflies and live happily in their own space!

With Gratitude,

PollyEsther

PS: Something a bit different to normal, but after all the lovely comments on my last poem, I could not resist posting this one too. I wrote it to enter into an on-line ‘Burning Man’ event display, which has a theme of growth and transformation.

The recent multitude of butterflies in nature, as well as my attention being drawn to them a lot lately in different situations, inspired me to put the two together. There is a lot of symbolism woven into this piece that is very close to my heart and I am pleased with how it turned out, GLAD my muse tapped me on my shoulder again yesterday!

What do you think?

Discovering subconscious fear pushing boundaries

It was a sunny morning in the last weeks of September. The ski slope had frozen up a little overnight and felt ‘grippy’, but firm. The weeks prior had been warmer in temperature, yet the resort had been hidden in the clouds which made it feel very damp and cold, despite the melting soft Spring snow with a ‘beach sand’ consistency.

I still needed more training for my exam tomorrow, even though I had been doing fine in the soft snow of the previous weeks. This was a very different day and it looked like the same conditions for tomorrow, so went up the chair lift on the beginners run near the ski and ride school, enjoying the spectacular view that had been lacking for so long. This run is one of the highest ones in the resort and sitting in the chair lift makes you feel like you are on top of the world looking over an extensive area of the old Australian alps mountain range and National Park surrounding the resort.

Once I got off, l gripped my poles different to normal, so I could hold them out wide and drag them along the snow for extra balance, while lifting one ski off the snow. I had been learning to ski on one ski with proper outriggers, but only had a short time today before the usual lineup for group lessons would start, so did not waste it getting the keys to the container holding all the special equipment for adaptive skiing.

For the readers that have not heard of adaptive skiing, this is for people with a wide variety of disabilities, physical and cognitive, where with special training and equipment they too can learn and enjoy snow sports. Outriggers are ski poles like crutches, but with a very short ski on the end, touching and sliding along on the snow, providing extra stability, steering and balance. The reason I needed to master skiing on one ski now, was to be able to do demo’s for people missing, or unable to use one of their legs.

Today however, l struggled with the different snow conditions and felt like being back at square one! Oh, no! I started to feel a panic wash over me. My stomach went into a knot as fear started to get a hold of me and my body would not listen to my commands of how to move… I felt unable to get onto the outside edge of my one ski to turn both ways and balance!

All of a sudden it dawned on me that this is how my customers must be feeling when they struggle to keep their balance on their first slide on both ski’s! I thought that l remembered well what it felt like to learn to ski, but had overlooked the fact that l had already gotten used to sliding on slippery surfaces as a kid ice skating and roller blading well before l started skiing, something a lot of my customers had not learned yet!

l thought about what I had learned from reading about and listening to Bruce Lipton’s work, of how the mind works. How we use the conscious mind to learn new skills by being mindful in the moment and focusing on what we are trying to achieve and how the subconscious takes over the other important tasks at the same time that are not focused on. This happens without being conscious of it, because the conscious mind can only focus on one thing at a time. It is very helpful to our survival and functioning while multitasking, like driving a car while thinking about other things at the same time. Once a skill is learned sufficiently, it goes into the subconscious program, to come out when deemed necessary.

l understood now that my subconscious had a program running that told my body not to get onto the outside edge of my ski, because it would cause me to catch the “wrong” edge and lose my balance real quick! Something that happened a fair bit while l had learned to ski! l understood l had to override the old program, to be able to master skiing on one ski in icier conditions too, something that still made me feel a little fearful of falling some days when sliding on two skis down steeper and more challenging slopes. I had to work on building new neural pathways in my brain, and quickly too, a big challenge, with so little time left to perfect.

Thankfully some of my higher qualified colleagues nearby were helpful in sharing some special tips to focus on and within a few more runs l regained the ability I had been working so hard on to perfect in the weeks prior and felt confident enough to pull it off the next day in similar snow conditions.

The exam day came with light snow showers and again low visibility as well as firm snow conditions. Not ideal for showing off our newly learned skills optimally, but examiners generally take that sort of things in account when scoring your tasks. I managed to impress him with my sit ski riding skills and we ran out of time after all the different role play scenarios of teaching different disabilities to show our understanding and efficiency in the task of being an adaptive ski instructor. I did not have to demo the one ski skill after all that, despite our trainer Dean urging me to work on it predominantly, thinking it would be covered on the day. and noticing it was my weakest point.

Our whole team of candidates made it through, all passing and upholding our trainers amazing record of never having trained anyone to fail at the exam! I believed him, because ten years prior Dean also trained me for the hiring clinic, becoming a rookie ski instructor, and again, all 5 in our group got hired! Oh, great memories and jokes shared again…

APSI qualification medal for instructing adaptive skiing

Several years ago I got to know a lady at a local market over Summer, who always stopped at my plant stall for a look and chat. She was still fairly young, guessing in her mid thirties, yet could not walk well enough and therefore in need of a scooter to get around. When she told me she used to live near the ski resort I had worked for several seasons in a row then, I could not help inquire if she used to ski, which she said she did, before her current physical condition, upon which her face turned sad. Knowing about the adaptive program, I asked her if she had heard about it, which she had not.

Months later they turned up in the ski resort and found me through the ski school. We met up in the most popular lunch bar after my work finished and her partner offered me a drink. The lady was beaming with pride and joy of having pulled off what she thought she’d never do again. Her partner was very pleased seeing her so happy too. I will never forget how it made me feel having been the instigator of this joy and achievement! I never saw them again as I did not continue doing markets. I would love to find out if it had helped afterwards too, perhaps even moving her boundaries in general. Something I am currently educating myself about, by reading material about brain plasticity, are the possibilities and less directly related benefits of snow sports for people with disabilities.

This course was an amazing experience, pushing my own boundaries, fears and understanding, as well as adding to my neural pathways, learning new skills. The understanding I gained from it was a real eye opener too, realizing that slopes look a lot steeper from a sit ski’s (and children’s) perspective and gaining an enormous respect for one legged skiers, feeling the strain, pain and cramps myself after a few turns holding my weight on one leg skiing. On my first run I had to swap my ski from one leg to the other 5 times before reaching the base of the slope!

l am so GLAD to finally have done it! Especially after doing the odd training session here and there over the past years, since meeting that lady, unable to commit to all and never finishing off taking the exam. This was mostly due to the fact that work got in the way, as well as lacking the energy for extra training with the added task of minding our ski lodge at night. Then there was my lack of true commitment, for I could have asked for the days off to allow me to train more. Maybe I was not quite ready for it myself at that time?

The true motivation came mid season this year, from having met several more inspirational disabled people over the recent years that benefited from this little known service and some more that did not, but who served greatly in inspiring and reminding me of my dream of becoming an adaptive ski instructor myself. The last hint that made my motivation turn into eagerness was running into and chatting with the DWA (Disabled Winter Sports Australia http://www.disabledwintersport.com.au/) supervisor Phil for our resort, who was very keen to introduce sit ski’s in Season 2017 on the little beginners run where I had been teaching for the last ten seasons and have written about in some previous posts. ( https://happypollyesther.com/2015/08/23/you-have-a-choice/ and https://happypollyesther.com/2014/06/03/why-i-am-exited-about-the-coming-snow-season/ as well as https://happypollyesther.com/2014/10/05/storm-lovers/ )

I am eager to see where this all will lead me and cannot wait to serve my first customer with special needs next season! I hope you can forgive me for tucking my muse away over our past Winter and seeing very little action on this blog, but I think I will make up for this over the coming Summer ;). Comments/queries/suggestions welcome below.

Questions answered

My jaw dropped this morning when I looked at the first Face Book post of a lady who befriended me only a few days back. I don’t know her at all and thankfully I do not get a lot of strangers befriending me on Face Book. It would be naïve not to be slightly wary.

In this case I reluctantly decided to acknowledge her request after seeing a lot of natural health and nutrition posts on her timeline, which is something I am always interested in. I send her a friendly ‘thank you’ PM to satisfy my curiosity as to why she befriended me, asking how she had found me and what her reasons were, seeing we had never met, had no common friends and lived worlds apart. No reply so far…

Walking the dog last week my attention was drawn to some unusual yet ancient looking fruit on the footpath in front of an elderly man’s home nearby. Some of the fruit had been squashed by passers-by or kids and looking up I saw a bush that was as laden with fruit as an over decorated Christmas tree! I had no idea what kind of fruit it was and if it was edible or not, but felt a strong urge to do some research and find out, so picked a couple off the ground underneath. I thought maybe I should try cut it in half and see if our ‘resident’ Possum chose to eat it to get a better clue whether it might be safe for human consumption or not, but haven’t as yet.

It felt a bit like deja-vu from around 8 years ago, when I first found Feijoa fruit on the footpath out the front of another house just around the corner. When I asked the owners about it, they told me I could take as much as I wanted, because they did not like eating them nor cleaning the footpath! I loved eating them so much, that I grew my own bush with lots of patience from seed and had my first fruit at the end of last Summer. (More about it: http://www.nutrition-and-you.com/feijoa.html)

First harvest from my Feijoa bush, grown from seed 8 years ago

First harvest, April 2015, from my Feijoa bush, grown from seed 8 years ago

When the dog and me walked a visiting friend back to the local bus stop, I showed the mysterious bush to my friend in the hope he might know or had seen it before, but he knew as much as me. At home things got busy with all my other internet projects and listening to time limited seminars about health and wellness and the sample fruit I brought home was just sitting on the shelf in my kitchen reminding me of my intent to do more research…

Coming back to my jaw dropping moment this morning, my new ‘friend’ posted this: http://drhealthytips.com/index.php/2016/05/07/are-you-worried-about-clogged-arteries-start-drinking-this-immediately/…

I now had a bit more than just a piece of fruit to do research and found a few more helpful links on-line: https://authoritynutrition.com/12-proven-benefits-of-pomegranate/ and: https://www.drfuhrman.com/library/article19.aspx for anyone wanting a few different perspectives. I excitedly emailed the link to my friend and as I was writing explaining what happened it dawned on me…

All my questions had been answered! What kind of fruit I had found, what the benefits are and possibly why some stranger befriended me on FaceBook out of the blue. All this without any effort on my behalf! Well, I did ask an internal question…

Pomegranate

I am so Glad and exited about this, I could not resist sharing it in a blog post, not just to show how questions get answered in mysterious, ‘serendipitious’ ways, but also to share the amazing benefits of the Pomegranate!

I ate both and went back today, got a few more to eat, collect seed and the image above.

Please share your comments, experiences, more info or recipes below.

Feel better through meditation

It took a sad post by a fellow blogger this evening https://havewehadhelp.wordpress.com/2016/04/23/depression-my-lifelong-companion/?c=7853#comment-7853 for me to gather the courage to tell you about my latest project.

A few years back I was attending regular evening yoga classes in which there was quite a strong emphasis on meditation. This was perfect for me having done physical labor all day in the nursery. Stretching my tight limbs with gentle poses, followed by some internal work through guided meditations for at least half an hour. I loved it! I’d drive home feeling like I was buzzing with energy, but still relaxed enough to sleep easily not long after. I loved the mental journeys the teacher would take us on and remember even mentioning to her that one day I might write some like that myself.

Recently a demand for guided meditations came to my attention and I got inspired, started writing, learned how to use Audacity and Sound Cloud and somewhat overcame my nervousness of actually speaking with my voice to an unknown number of public…Hence the hesitation of telling everyone.

What are some of the positive effects of meditation?

If you are carrying worries, unresolved issues, anger, hatred or other negative, low vibration emotions, the result will be stress.

Stress creates chemicals in your body that are useful to respond to stressful situations in a natural environment, designed to react physically. The immune system is turned off momentarily to allow more blood flow to muscles and other parts of the body needed to run or defend ourselves.

In our modern day lifestyle, this is not always a desirable response and many people do not utilize the chemicals released. The result is that the stress keeps on lingering, eventually turning into discomfort and disease.

The guided meditation is designed to release stress and create feelings of higher vibrating emotions such as appreciation, relaxation, gratitude and love.

The subconscious mind is unable to discern between reality and imagination, this is a specialty of the conscious mind. Therefore it perceives these positive feelings as real and will change your mood to a happy and relaxed mindset.

Happiness and relaxation have a positive effect on the immune system and therefore enhance our body’s healing ability.

I wish to present to you my first two recorded tracks on Sound Cloud, written and spoken by me. “The Magic Cave” was edited by a dear friend sound technician, to whom I am so grateful for his time, effort and generosity, doing this all for free and making it sound so much more professional, despite my average equipment used recording. I think he enjoys them while he checks the final result 😉

Enjoy!

Namaste

The dead Tree

The picture above is of a dead tree in 2007, along the road to the ski resort I have been working for every Winter since. The reason I took that picture is that I was drawn to it because of its balanced look and almost perfect shape, despite having died probably many years prior. It seemed that time had not touched it much since, leaving me to enjoy this amazing natural sculpture. It was almost like it spoke to me on a subtle level, taking me on a journey in my mind.

I cannot help and wonder what that tree has seen passing while it was alive, from the old prospectors looking for gold, the old coach that connected the small villages on both sides of the mountain range, to the first snow enthusiasts that went up on horseback and traversed the mountains on foot in search of the perfect powder stash to slide down.

Next came the road workers that turned this slick muddy track into a more user-friendly road. Development was not far behind with the first basic lodges being build and ski lifts being installed.

Nowadays there is a bustling ski resort attracting thousands of visitors every year, who probably pass this tree not even noticing it being there, in their rush to get to their destination in anticipation of some rails, jumps, turns and party time…

Dead tree 2010

The next time I felt like taking a picture of this tree again was during a snow shower on my way to work in 2010, when the light just seemed perfect to highlight the beauty of this old dead tree with the snowfall adding to the feelings of magic this tree stirred in me.

Not much seemed to have changed in the last three years and again I stood still and admired it for a brief moment. How long had it been standing there before it spoke to me the first time? When had it died and why? Was it old age, maybe drought or disease had made it to what was left, or had it been affected by the bushfires visiting this area on a regular basis or a lightning strike?

Dead tree 2012

In 2012 it started to show that even dead trees are not immune to the wear and tear of time as branches keep snapping during every storm that passes, leaving it noticeably bearer than when I saw it for the first time, five years prior.

This makes me ponder about the thoughts this tree has put into my mind over time and continues to do, which brings me to the following verse that ‘jumped’ out (not unlike this tree), when looking at the Dao Te Ching for more understanding about the most recent atrocities in the world.

Verse 76, Dao Te Ching:

Men are born soft and supple;
dead, they are stiff and hard.
Plants are born tender and pliant;
dead, they are brittle and dry.

Thus, whoever is stiff and inflexible is a disciple of death.
Whoever is soft and yielding is a disciple of life.

The hard and stiff will be broken.
The soft and supple will prevail.

When I read this verse, a memory came to me suddenly about an elderly Shaolin monk performing his daily stretching routine on a stage during their show in Melbourne, many years ago. (more about this in my book) His message really hit me at that time as my age was already showing a few minor signs of leaving youth behind in the not so far foreseeable future.

He said that by stretching every day, he kept his old body soft and supple, to avoid becoming brittle and break limbs. He metaphorically compared it with a young sapling that bends with the breeze, whereas an old tree becomes brittle and the branches snap!

Had he maybe studied this old book, written by Lao Tsu over 3000 years ago, and taken this verse as advise on staying healthy in old age? Is it just meant physically? Or could there be a psychological truth behind it too? Is it maybe a combination of both that is the secret to a healthy and active old age? Is there an even deeper layer to the meaning of this verse that points to the way countries are run?

Whatever it all means, I know that regular stretching, ever since watching the elderly monk and taking in his advice, has kept my body flexible and supple as well as developed better coordination and strength. This in turn has contributed to feeling better, younger and more vibrant now in my late forties compared to when I was in my twenties! Time will tell if it is still beneficial for me when I get to the age where a lot of people really start struggling with their bodies not cooperating, but I have a feeling that it will be from what I saw the monk do! Whatever is going to happen, for the moment I like to stick to my daily stretching routine and hold onto my dream of getting a free season pass for the ski lifts when I turn 70 and become an elderly “ski bum”!

By then the old tree will be probably be reduced to a pile of timber, covered in moss, providing a home for small animals and fungi. Will it still hold stories and provoke thoughts, or will they too have been nibbled away by the small creatures that keep nature in balance?

Dead tree 2015

Is there anyone else out there that has an appreciation and fascination for dead trees? Please share your thoughts in the comments below!

PS: If you have downloaded my book and like my stories, I would appreciate it if you take a moment to leave a short review on Amazon!

With Gratitude,

Pollyesther

Happy Pollyesther

Much more than spinning yarns, blogging about the amazing power of gratitude while seeing life from my current perspective

health

Why do odd things seem normal?

Am I going mad?

What would you do?

I’m getting old…or am I?

PRECIOUS TIMES

The Emerging Butterfly

Discovering subconscious fear pushing boundaries

Questions answered

Feel better through meditation

The dead Tree