These words have been on my mind for a while now.
Judgment seems to be the main motivator behind a lot of articles in magazines and papers, on television shows and social media, where the lives of the famous and wannabe famous are in the picture to be judged good or bad, with the latter most prominent…
Revenge seems to be a common thread through most movies where the hero has to seek revenge in order to get justice…
Do you ever feel like repaying someone a negative “favor”?
A good internal question to ask is: What benefit can be gained from this?
When I truly look inside, the answer I find is “none whatsoever”!
Recently I found out that a few neighbors had some issues with a new family that moved in not long ago, a single mum with several kids and pets. I was unaware of this for some time and have so far only had good interactions with them, besides having to ask them to keep their cats indoors at night. They were posing a nuisance keeping me up all night by upsetting my dog as well as leaving some not so nice surprises in my garden, but then again, it could have been someone else’s cat too… This problem settled and all neighbors appear to oblige to my friendly request now.
The kids were curious about the plants on my veranda, that are for sale. I gave the young girls a little cactus each from my stock plants out the back (with soft furry needles, not the nasty prickly variety) to treasure at home.
Every time they saw me down the street I got a big smile and a few friendly words from them. A few days later they knocked on my door with hand drawn “postcards”, filled with lovely messages. After that I decided to give their mum a bag of lemons from my tree as I had to many to use for myself. I knew she had health problems after we talked and got to know each other a little on a walk back from the local shops some time ago. I knew it would do her good. Another few days later one of the girls knocked on my door with a cupcake that she had made herself! .
How can it be that my experiences with this family were all so sweet and lovely, while my other friendly neighbors had the total opposite happen?
I guess as a result from earlier experiences with this family, that my other normally friendly neighbors had experienced, was at least an annoyed feeling towards them. When dealing with people our emotions play an important part in nonverbal communication. Most people do not take conscious notion of this, but it is just as, if not more, important than words. It shines through in our facial expressions and body language. Along with habitual judgment about this family, while not really knowing a lot about them besides what was observed, comes a vibration of expecting the worst from them.
Especially children are very sensitive to vibration. Had they decided to take revenge for whatever they felt wronged by through vandalism? Have these young children already been corrupted by the brainwashing effects of movies and tv, that revenge is a desirable action that makes you feel better? Had they witnessed bad behavior in the family, before it broke up, and accepted this as normal? Is there something else playing out as well that goes both ways?
There is a saying going around the social media these days that loosely goes as follows:
“Whether you believe something to be true or not, either way you are right”
This hints at “Ask and it is given”, also mentioned in the bible, which is in my opinion telling us about our mental and emotional influence on our experiences. (Why and how I have become convinced of this is described in detail in my book)
The thoughts and feelings, of in this case annoyance and suspicion, which are the conductors of the “ask” , do not support good odds for “being given” a lovely experience or encounter and neither are judgment or revenge!
Maybe it is important to discern more and judge less?
Ask yourself the question regularly: “What benefit can be gained from this?”
Most of all, when did revenge ever have something good come out of it? Do not ever seek revenge!
“Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.”
― Wayne W. Dyer
I am glad about my life’s experiences, for they give me inspiration to share what I feel passionate about!
Please share your thoughts in the comments below 😉