“Did you get a bunch of red roses this morning?” was a question posed to me by a friend on the phone early today. Not that long ago this would have made me feel neglected, unloved and insecure for the reason that my significant loved one never buys me flowers or remembers special days.

He does not need to, for I have fresh flowers in my home everyday from my own garden. They are free to pick and fresher than purchased from any shop. I arrange them in a floating bowl if the stems are too short for a vase, or use a single flower with some green leaves in a piece of ikebana if the pickings are slim. You don’t need a lot to have an effective display. I am currently looking at three orchids resting on a large green bed of foliage in a floating bowl, which gives my home a tranquil spa like feel. My loved one shows me his love and gratitude in different subtle ways every day!

This brings me to the subject of Valentines Day. Many years ago, on Valentines Day, I bought my husband a coffee mug with a cute picture and loving message on it. He bought me a new TV! We both laughed at the ludicrous contrast and resolved not to fall for the commercial and social pressure any more. I have a history of working in a retail sector for twenty years, where Valentines Day was a major selling day. This fact put me off the way it is commonly celebrated, by buying gifts. We are led to believe by the media that we are not showing our love unless we spend money on gifts! It seems the more expensive, the more we show our love. I feel that by doing this a big factor is overlooked. That factor is gratitude for the other person to be part of our lives. Do we want to show gratitude one day a year (with an expensive gift) or every day of the year (with subtle messages)? What is more powerful for our relationship?

Do you want to be a victim of the “commercial brainwashing machine” or could you come up with your own unique way to make the loved one in your life feel special today (or any day of the year) and show your love and gratitude for them without spending any money? What special talent do you have to draw on? Are you a poet or writer? You could write a special message. Are you a painter? You could paint a picture with a special message. Are you a good cook? Cook a special favorite dish today. The options are endless and individual. The fact that these don’t cost extra money makes it possible to do it more often and not just on Valentines Day.

I feel a personalized message of love and gratitude is much more powerful than going to a shop and buying an exuberantly expensive bunch of flowers or gift. I am glad and grateful for the love in my life, especially because it is shown in a very different personal way, that is far more subtle and frequent than just one day a year.

How do you show your loved ones they are appreciated and special to you? Please share in the comments below: